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This is how you adult, right?


February 2014


Okay my non-existing followers; this will be a regular post rather than a news post. Let’s be honest here, half my posts are not news worthy but it’s my blog so you can suck it! I can write what I want! I decided to just write about random facts about myself to give any new and hopeful reader an idea of who I am.

  1. Let’s start with why I like writing.
    I actually did not realize I liked writing until I hit my second year of college. When I was younger I enjoyed drawing. I was a fan of all art: dancing, singing, writing, drawing, and acting. I liked all the traits that most people cannot simply survive off of. With that being said, I tried majoring in theatre and then succumbed to my stage fright. I am actually incredibly shy but I try not to show it. I thought I wanted to be a social worker but that was boring. Writing came once I took my English classes in college and my adviser pushed me to get involved with the schools newspaper (The Gothic Times) and that was where I started to take my writing more seriously and ended up becoming Editor in Chief.
  2. I do not like coffee.
    I don’t know why but I hate coffee. I will gladly take a Dunkin Donut’s Coffee Coolata or a Burger King’s iced French vanilla coffee but I will want as much sugar and cream to die out the coffee flavor. Even now, as I write this I am sipping on coffee that I drowned with creamer.
  3. I’m rather short and baby faced.
    I proudly stand at 4’11 and have a baby face. I normally always wear make up but recently I have been lazy and not been applying eye liner. My eyes look bigger and my cheeks are chipmunk cheeks. I have fun by hiding food in there for later. I have a thing about eating a lot of food by myself in short periods of time.
  4. I recently moved in with my boyfriend.
    When I mean recently, I mean last September. It’s been a trip. I have thrown in the towel with the toilet seat. That seat will never stay down but it’s okay because I leave my strands of hair in the tub for him. It’s a gift!
  5. I am an amazing cook!
    Thank God for my mother and her old fashion Spanish ways. If she had not beaten me to learn how to make rice at age 11, I would have STARVED in college! I do not make tacos. I am the only Latin girl in the world who does not enjoy making tacos nor do I enjoy the eating them.
  6. I have a strong love for the furry children.
    I love animals. I will go out of my way to save and rescue an animal because I rescue a human. I donated to the ASPCA! I have two dogs myself: a German Shepherd named Jack Daniels and a German Shep/Rottie mix named Whiskey. My father named them. They are awesome fucking names. I love them! Whiskey constantly smells like Doritos so I am convinced he has a stash hidden somewhere and eats them when no one is looking… that’s probably why he’s so fat.
  7. Jenna Marbles is Youtube’s Goddess!
    I am obsessed with her. She is this magical comedian who comes down the beanstalk every week to fart out her special wisdom. I watch her religiously and she is actually my motivation to blog. When I feel discouraged or lazy, she pushes me to do it J So, thanks Jenna, your fellow landshark looks up to you.

And that is all I can think of to say!



Talena Atfield, where are you?

What ever happened to Talena Atfield? You know, that super duper hottie, hot-hot bassist from Kittie? You remember! The only hot chick in that band.

courtesy of

I first heard Kittie at the tender age of 11… or 12… maybe 13… whatever, I didn’t have my period yet and that is all I can remember! I saw their music video for Brackish and fell in love. I was just getting over Backstreet Boys, Britney spears, N*Sync and discovered Metallica, Korn, and Tool (thanx to my awesome sauce, older brother). BTW, the worse Britney’s life became, the better her music grew. I will always be a fan of Britney! Keep singing about threesomes, girl! Wo0t!

Anyhoo, at the time, I had never heard of girls being in bands and singing, let alone playing instruments so when I heard them, MIND-BLOWN. When I saw the video, one girl caught my attention: Talena. She was everything I wasn’t. She was a musician, pale, hot, older, goth, and just wicked cool. Judging by her lack of facial expressions, she seemed the type of girl I would steal cigarettes for, light one up, act like it’s no big deal and that I do it all the time, while I choke on my first inhale. She would label me a loser and I’d be coming back for more abuse. What can you expect from an 8th grader from a catholic school?!

 Courtesy of

After she was gone and replaced by Jennifer Arroyo, I totally lost interest but I always wondered, “What happened to Talena Atfield?”

Well, I hopped on the interwebs and did some research. The bitch is gone! It appears as though after Kittie, her life just stopped. Talena apparently wasn’t even playing in the Spit album. In fact, according to shaky sources, when she was asked to join Kittie she actually learned how to play bass within a month (I believe 3 weeks?). She was featured in the video Brackish but it wasn’t her bass playing. She did appear on a show called America’s Hot Musician but after that I see nothing else. She was supposedly in another band that I refuse to even mention because I do not hear bass and the vocals are terrible. The whole story sounds off and has many holes but I’m not going to touch on that. I am getting way too jittery from the creamer I decided to splash coffee in! 

Talena, you are hot, please come back to the public.


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