Like most college kids, I had the fun opportunity to dorm my four years (four? Er, maybe five. Five? Six? I want to go with four years) of college. I had attended New Jersey City University in Jersey City, NJ and it was the best time of my life (next to high school, thanks to my cousin’s encouragement of constant underage drinking). In total, I had four different room mates: the Ghost, the Celebrity, the Exchange Student, and the Best Roomie in the World. I’m going to break each one of them down and if you ever encounter any of these, follow these helpful words of stupidity wisdom.

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courtesy of memegenerator.com

The Exchange Student aka Rosalie.
Rosalie was my senior year roommate and the differences between us were obvious and very immediate. She came straight from China, she didn’t wear make up until later on in the semester, she always happened to get amazing deals online, sex topics were off limits, and our lifestyles were just through the roof different. I can’t go into details since I don’t want to throw her (or any of my roomies) under the bus. One good thing about Rosalie, she was fucking fearless!  She saved my life from an angry house centipede. Apparently, she had never seen one so she was intrigued and actually picked it up with her bare hands, after it was dead. I nearly screeched but she was cool as a cucumber. I got over it quickly once I realized she isn’t afraid of bugs. She also introduced me to a bunch of funny characters.

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courtesy of quickmemes.com
Funny thing about Rosalie is whenever I needed help with certain math problems, she would even be stumped so I would tell her, “You are not living up to your stereotypes!” Seriously, I mean c’mon, I lived up to mine… I always cleaned!

If you ever find yourself with a roommate who is from another country, don’t be an asshole and when I say this, I mean, don’t push your culture beliefs down their throat. Not everyone is going to be exactly like you or believe in the same thing you do. If you are one of these people who enjoys shoving their ideas in the hopes of converting someone’s mind to what you think is right, be prepared to be “that asshole” everyone hates. Just be cordial, respect their different cultures, and help them out when they ask. The culture shock is real and sometimes overwhelming.

The Celebrity aka Carolyn.
My junior year roommate. Everyone knew her, absolutely everyone. Some people enjoyed her company while others were less than friendly. Any time she went out she always looked fierce: heels on point, tight fitted clothes, flawless make up, and a lot of perfume. Some of her choices of clothing were a little revealing for my taste but when she was going to church, bitch belonged in a Vanity Fair magazine. She could bounce from a hooking club promoter to classy chic fashionista. I had to give it to her, she loved dressing pretty. I rarely saw her looking bummy. I never saw her as conceited, she really dressed for herself, not for anyone else. That shit is confidence.

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courtesy of pininterest.com

With all that said, she was the total opposite of me lol. I wore the same sweat pants or literal boy length shorts, band t-shirts or any black t shirt, and awful foot wear.

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I basically looked like a dapper little boy.

Unless you enjoy random people coming in and out or constantly looking for your roommate, you may want to try and see who your roommate will be in advance. I’m a very shy, quiet person, and I keep to myself… unless I know you, then, I will be leaving my clothes at your place while I go home wearing some of yours. I don’t have much advice for this one b/c at this time, I was working and bribing my boyfriend at the time to let me stay at his place. That boyfriend was kind of an asshole. So, IDK, stay busy?

The Ghost aka Lynn.
My second year roommate. I rarely saw this girl so we never really got to bond… at all. I had just started my first full time job. Monday – Friday 9:00am – 6:00pm I was at work and was also a full time student from 7:00pm – 10:00pm Monday – Thursday. My schedule was jam packed and along with that, I was also writing for my school’s newspaper. Lynn was a music major which left her little to no time at all. We would see each other around 7:30am – 8:30am because that was the time we would both get up and get ready for our day. I would come straight to my dorm after class exhausted and she would come in around 11:00pm. The only memory I do have of her is when I unintentionally scared her by returning a pencil to her. GIRLFRIEND WAS SHOOK! I must have been stepping lightly.

This roommate was driven and there was no stopping her. If she seems busy, let her live her life, don’t bash her for this and don’t take it to heart. You don’t always have to hang out with your roomie. There were times we went to the lunch room together to get nomnoms but other than than, we were just busy with our own lives and that is okay.

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courtesy of memebucket.com

The Best Roomie aka Jessica.
My first roommate. I couldn’t have asked for a better roommate. This girl ripped me out of my comfort bubble within the week of meeting her. Seriously, we got intoxicated together, shared stories while using the toilet together, shared the same shower stall (the other stall was broken and there were only two shower stalls. We both needed to get ready for class and we had class at the same time… seriously, I don’t need to explain myself to you!), shared secrets, saw each other naked way more than we should have, and really got involved in each other’s lives. Had it not been for her, I wouldn’t be as open minded and realistic as I am today. She taught me we are humans and we should take advantage of the life we have and stop worrying so much about what people may think of you. She was there for me through my darkest time when my life way falling apart and I remember how vulnerable she looked when she actually cried over her heartbreak. We also had amazing prank wars that included lubing up our door handles, filling up condoms with lotion and leaving them by the door (holy shit, did that cause a LOT of stir), & hanging each other’s stuffed animals.

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Keep in touch with this roommate. Girls, I know we suck at keeping females in our lives but if you meet a girl who literally influences your reality and somehow keeps you grounded, WITHOUT a hidden agenda to knock you down, this is a once in a lifetime friend. I’m not saying you need to worship them or take every bit of their advice but keep an open mind. This will be the one who will probably help mold you into the person you are meant to become… and who will tell you to lay off the red Gatorade and Cheetos when you’ve had too much.

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