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Sic Ally

This is how you adult, right?

Meet Annie

Annie is pretty.
Annie has the long eyelashes I want. She also has those Angelina lips that men can’t resist and those lips compliment her perfect chin. Her raven hair is silky, long, and it doesn’t hold a single curl. She doesn’t need to dye her hair because it would only distract you from her beautiful face. Along with her angel like facial features, her body also looks like it was molded by angels. Her arms are nicely toned just enough to seem elegant. Her arms match her delicate lady like hands and her nail polish is never chipped. Don’t get me started on her flat belly and modest chest! It must be nice to never have to wear a bra every time you leave the house. She was blessed with birthing hips that sway in the most seductive way possible that accompany her apple bottom. All her pants are skin tight and she never has love handles. She effortlessly looks flawless. Beyonce had Annie in mind when she made that song.

Annie is mean.
Annie is confident, strong, intelligent, and beautifully talented. Annie is also a bitch. She constantly pokes fun at me and is always there to whisper hurtful things: “That car is going to hit you,” “You know, they really aren’t your friends, they just feel sorry for you,” “You’re shitty writer,” “You will be your husband’s downfall,” “Everyone is staring at you because you weren’t invited,” “Why can’t you act your age?” “You’re pathetic,” “No one likes your dogs.” Annie has a tendency of sticking around me when I don’t want her there. Every time I’m in the car, she hops in the backseat wearing her black band shirt, fitted jeans, and eye liner on point. She likes to make moves on my husband so I can feel small and unloved. She likes my cooking so she leaves me alone. At least I have her beat in that department. Not today, bitch! She takes every opportunity to let me know I am doing something wrong: “Why are you wearing that? Are you 12? That doesn’t fit. Why don’t you go for a run? Oh, that’s right because everyone will laugh at chubs attempting to run!”

Annie likes to tag along with me whenever I decide to go out with friends. She takes her time to break me down. Every time, it’s always the same. She leaves me alone when I’ve built up courage to dance or talk to someone and then she slides over my shoulder. “They don’t really want you here and you look ridiculous. Everyone is staring at you because you don’t fit in.” Every day, Annie becomes more creative with her insults. She is never shy to speak. “You’re a shitty dog owner. Your dogs hate you. You’re a failure at everything. Why does your face look like that? Your jokes are stupid and you’re not funny.”

Annie is weak.
Go fuck yourself, Annie. Yesterday, I left the house and took care of my neighbors pets. On Friday, I drove myself to my appointment and hung out with friends that night to play games. On Thursday, I rewarded myself by staying in by choice. On Wednesday, Tuesday, Monday, and Sunday I had walked over 20 miles just to be out of the house and active. I did not do this alone. I walked my dogs and hung out with my friends. Within 2 months, I have seen about 4 movies, traveled to a new city I have never heard of before, visited a new beach, went to several other beaches, went on a tour, gave a real attempt at swimming which turned my hair green,  and played at a casino and lost money. Even though I was scared, my hair turned green, and I didn’t have Lady Luck with me, the feeling of accomplishment gave me the push I needed. Annie wasn’t invited to any of these trips and she stayed where she belonged: away. Annie thrives on my fears and only exists when I am unsure of myself.

Annie is real.
Annie only started to make her presence known last winter of 2015. She has been nothing but a burden that I try to bury. I’ve been hesitant on introducing her to new people but the way I see it is once they meet her, they will understand why I do the things I do. Some people don’t get her, others pretend she’s not real, and then there is that small group that make it their mission to squash that bitch. To that group, thank you for always putting Annie in her place. She is a bully and a nuisance but every day I leave my home to walk my dogs, to take the trash out, to check the car, pick up the mail, or enjoy the sun, I know I can be stronger than her.

Meet Annie, my anxiety.
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Reviewing Kat Von D Make Up

Is Kat Von D makeup line worth the hype?

If you are most women (or YouTube makeup gurus) then you wear some form of make up. Whether it is eye liner, lip gloss, foundation, or mascara, finding the right one is hard and costly! Recently, I decided to throw away all my brand name makeup products and start fresh. The reason for my change was because I wanted cruelty free products. What does cruelty free mean? Well, my little make up artists,  big name companies (Bobbi Brown, CoverGirl, Marc Jacobs, and other expensive brands, including, yes, MAC) test on animals and I don’t want to support that so I strictly buy makeup products that are not tested on animals now.

Eyes, lips, and cheeks!
I did some research and was able to find CrueltyFreeKitty and used it as a guide on which makeup is cruelty free. I have always loved Kat Von D and her style is not only cruelty free but vegan as well so I started with her. I went on a binge for my birthday and then again for Kat’s birthday when she had an awesome online sale. I have tried the following products and can honestly form a valid opinion on all of them.

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Lock-It Featherweight Primer & Lock-It Foundation

I never wore primer on my face except for my eye lids but I was warned this foundation was HEAVY and a primer should be worn with it. I chose to buy both to be safe because my skin is pretty sensitive. The primer is super light and a little goes a long way. I noticed when I went without wearing it, my face did become greasy FAST so I stick to using the primer as a base before I had anything else on it.

The foundation is THICK. REALLY THICK. When I press the pump, I use half pumps because a full pump gives a LOT. It definitely covers up spots you want covered. I have a birthmark that rests on the right side of my face so I always try to cover it up with make up. I bought these at Sephora and they used that little machine to pinpoint my skin tone. It blends perfectly but it does highlight the pores on my nose but because I wear glasses, I try not to use so much of it on my nose. The coverage is flawless!

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Lock ‘N Load Makup Setting Mist

GOD SENT. It is a light mist you spray on your finished face and it locks your make up in place. If you try this, please, make sure you spray it on BEFORE mascara or else you’ll be rocking those raccoon eyes. I noticed my full face of make up does stay in place all day when I spray this bad boy on. Living in Puerto Rico (oh, yeah, I live in Puerto Rico meow!) I needed some help with my make up. You don’t feel any stickiness with the spray at all, it does what it says.

I may have bought one a little too bright, so again, a little goes a long way. I have no complaints. I honestly, just needed a blush. At least I know this will last me quite a while. The color is about three shades brighter than the picture here but it IS a very pretty color.

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 Immortal Lash Mascara Puro Amor & Tattoo Liner Eye Liner color Trooper

The mascara is nothing special. I have thin eyelashes and I don’t wear fake lashes (except my wedding and I was not told I had to take them off with warm water and soap…) and this didn’t “plump” them up but it did make my eyes pop. I’m not crazy about the wand either. Whenever I’m done using it I have to do a little light wiggle to get the wand back in and it feels, well, flimsy. It is super lightweight but I think if I’m in a drunken rage I would end up breaking it or snapping it by accident.

Dat eye liner tho! I have not used liquid eye liner since high school and it’s mainly due to laziness. I’ve always used a gel liner since my early 20s and that shit was crazy good. Kat’s Tattoo Liner stays on and that shit isn’t moving, with or without the setting mist! The black is truly black (I mean, c’mon, is there any other eye liner color worth having?). It still takes me a while to get the wings perfectly on since it has been a long time since I used liquid. I am worried this will run out soon because it’s so light. My only complaint is once it hits the skin, it DRYS FAST. I try to find work on my wings but once it dries, it is a little struggle to not have the tip skip on the skin. Maybe I just need more practice?

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Everlasting Liquid Lipstick Nosferatu & Exorcism

I’m on the fence with these. Now, I LOVE both shades, the colors are beautifully dark, they go on smooth and don’t gunk up, and they dry quickly, however, they don’t seem to last during eating. When I go kiss my hubby, I don’t leave residue and even though they are both matte, they don’t dry out my lips. I’ve had them on while I had meals and they seem to fade fairly quickly and I find myself having to reapply. Maybe it’s these colors because I have seen other YouTubers who claim they ate and it didn’t come off. I might try these again this week and eat a full meal. Maybe I will go one less coat to see a difference…

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Everlasting Liquid Lipstick Lolita

If you haven’t heard of Lolita, you are not a true makeup girl. This shade is not only beautiful but for some strange reason, it DOESN’T come off as easily as my other two darker shades! This color is always out of stock at Sephora and TBH, when I bought from KVD on her birthday, what convinced me was the sale: spend $100 and I will receive a Lolita liquid lipstick, eye liner, and free make up bag. Lolita was the cause of my debt. As I mentioned, this color does not come off when I have a meal nor is it overpowering as my darker ones can be. I can probably wear Lolita every day as my go to color.

Final thought?
I do have more products from this line including the studded lipsticks and nail polish so once I can test those out, I will write a short pt 2 or maybe add it to this post. So far, I enjoy the foundation, love the lip colors (just wish they would last longer), and the mascara should be cheaper! If you have any tips on this line, please let me know in the comments🙂 If you hated this, well, comment down there, too and I’ll make another rant since those seem more popular for some strange reason!😀

Is Bragging About Sex In Bad Taste?

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine who has recently started having sex and he mentioned how he used to brag about it to several people. His girlfriend was less than thrilled about him sharing their intimate moments with others. I figured he would eventually calm the hell down and realize, dude, it’s just sex.

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How much do guys brag about sex? 
After doing some research, Bustle had an article about a similar topic. They turned to Reddit to see just how much guys really do talk sex with “the guys.” To my shock, my husband’s responses have been true: guys normally don’t talk about sex as often as women assume they do. In fact, Penn State conducted a study in 2002 and discovered that women were more likely to talk about their sexual encounters than men and women were more open about the dirty details. Men mostly talk about masturbation (of course lol) while women shied away from that topic. In case you don’t think 2002 facts are current enough, here is the Bustle article where they showed the Reddit answers about men bragging.

The truth behind the theory
After reading this, I started thinking about how true this theory could be. I have a good amount of male and female friends (and acquaintances) and I’ve noticed, the women were more open than guys were about sex. The guys never really shared anything unless I specifically asked, furthermore, men never went into details. Maybe it’s weird to talk about the shameful acts they have done to a girl with another girl or maybe it’s a guy code to only speak with other guys, but my hubby has definitely confirmed this. I have always asked him what him and his boys (back home) spoke about and he would always deny talking about sex or girls, unless it was a relationship with a girl. Even then, relationship talks were kept to a minimum, after all, guys’ night was just about guys, not girl talk. In a nutshell, ladies, we were wrong to accuse men obsessing over us.

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Do women really enjoy being bragged about? Yes and no.
After asking a few women, single, married, or in serious relationships, if they would mind their hubbies bragging about their sex life, their answers were surprising. All of them said, they would not mind at all, some even would encourage it but when asked if the people their hubbies were bragging to were women, it did not fly. While a few still had no problem with this, majority did not feel the same way. Nancy, 24, said, “I don’t think other women need to know my husband’s sex life.” Lola, 29, replied, “That would not sit well with me,” she added, “I wouldn’t want [her partner] talking to them about our sexual life.” Jenn, 27, said “Heck, no, he shouldn’t be talking to any female like that.” Debbie, 28, said she would have questions, “How did the topic of what your wife does in bed come up? What was the conversation leading up to that?” When you think about it, you have to question why is the topic of sex even on the table with any woman besides your own?

So who does brag?
According to the Examiner, some people who do brag (women are included), could be doing so to build their self confidence. They will also find any way possible to incorporate their means of bragging in any situation – appropriate or not. Along with boosting their self esteem up, those who do brag could be narcissists. Jami McDonald, life coach and hypnotherapist explains, “In their mind they are boosting their egos, encouraging their own vanity, and irritating others with selfish behaviors,” adding “It could definitely fall under narcissist tendencies, but do they really get anything fictitious sex stories?”

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Another male source who commented via Examiner said, “I personally don’t think anyone brings that topic up, professional setting or not, without the intent of trying to get in someone’s pants, at some point, anyway. We are men after all.” Ironically, this quote ties up with what Debbie mentioned earlier: the need to question why sex was ever the topic of conversation. Is that to assume sex is on the table as well?

Bottom line: Don’t kiss and tell
Think about your partner’s feelings before you go on an ego trip. What you may think is something to brag about, she considers private and intimate. If someone asks you an intimate question, make sure your partner is okay with you sharing the answer. Respect your better half’s requests and put yourself in their shoes but when it doubt, just heed Examiner‘s advice, “It just isn’t ever a good idea to brag about sexual conquests with the opposite sex. In most situations, it’s just tacky.”

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What I Have Learned In My First Year Of Marriage

Hello my little buttercups! September 15 marked my one year anniversary and, boy, have I learned a lot! People always tell me two things: The first year is always the hardest or the first year is always the easiest. Now, I think because we spent the majority of our first year apart (Thanks U.S.C.G! hmph!), we grew closer and our love for each other really blossomed. That is not to say I don’t know what I am talking about when it comes to marriage because when he was home, I had a role to play. Here is what I have learned in my first year of marriage!

  1. You can’t change someone but you can improve them
    My husband cannot clean a dish to save his life but if I need him to run to the store and buy me tampons, you better believe he will come back with Playtex Sport Super & Regular Unscented. He also enjoys collecting old things. Whether or not they work is irrelevant, he just likes old things. Right before we moved, I was able to convince him to either throw away or donate items he hadn’t touched or will never use. I would say I “changed” him but then he brought home this
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    A 76mm shell -.-. I am not allowed to toss it because he got his shipmates to sign them. Tricky bastard.
  2. Your spouse will become your best friend
    When we just moved from NJ to MA, we had to stay at a military hotel then when he finally got us our apartment, we had no cable or internet. From that moment on, we developed a very comfortable way of spending time together. We would talk about politics, religion, comedy, nature, pretty much anything and everything and we got in deep! If we were upset over something, we would go to each other. We would depend on the other to lift our spirits. We learned how to have fun with each other and not take ourselves too seriously.
  3. It’s good to have your own hobbies
    My hubby loves his online gaming. If he’s not online gaming, he’s at the comic book store, hiking with our Potato, or whatever the hell he did in his side of the apartment. When he was doing any of these, I would have to be doing something to entertain myself. I like cooking, working on cosplays, writing, dreaming of being a Suicide Girl (I do the last one when he’s not around). It’s good to have your own thing and it took me months to figure out my hobbies.
  4. Not everyone will agree with your lifestyle
    Call me old fashion but I like catering to him at his every whim. I do it so often that even he had to stop me and remind me that he’s “no king.” But the two things he failed to realize was 1) I was raised to always cater to my husband and 2) I treat him like a king because he treats me like a queen. I enjoy cooking for him, cleaning up after him, rubbing his back, scratching his head, doing his laundry, I love all that shit and I know he appreciates it.
  5. He is your husband, not your boyfriend
    If we had a fight, I couldn’t  just walk out, erase his number, and move on. I couldn’t hang up the phone and ignore him for days. We saw each other every day, every night (when he wasn’t always). He wasn’t a boyfriend I could dump whenever he pissed me off. We had to work through things or agree to disagree. There were times we both didn’t say a word to each other and stayed in opposite sides of the apartment but it was best because it gave us time to cool off.
  6. You can say ‘No’
    “Wanna have sex?”
    “No.”
    “Ok.”
    😦
  7. Co-dependency is a slippery slope
    I admit it, I became co-dependent on him sometimes. ‘Christian, can you drive,’ ‘Christian, can you pick up food,’ ‘Christian, can you come with me here, here, and here?’ But when he was away, holy hell, did I had to become independent FAST. This is when I also learned I had my own hobbies as well. When he came back, we naturally enjoyed hanging out with each other, especially since we didn’t know anyone else who lived close by to hang out with.
  8. Don’t hold on to arguments
    No one enjoys giving in to fights or admitting they are wrong but sometimes, you just have to do it, not just to keep the peace but because it’s good to forgive. I often try to keep from saying hurtful things but if I do happen to slip, I know when I have to apologize and make it right. His way of forgiving and moving on is tackling me down, tickling me, and smothering me with kisses while I thrash around like a cat wrapped up in a towel fighting off love.
  9. You will come to terms with each other’s habits
    He likes to groom himself and keep his uni-brow under control while I spot treat blemishes throughout the night and take forever washing my hair. These are just part of ourselves that we never really shared with other people because, well, we’ve never lived with anyone else to this capacity before. One thing I have to say is, THANK GOODNESS for two bathrooms!
  10. You should have two rooms
    Speaking of multiple rooms, as much as I love and adore my husband, it was great to have our bedroom and his man cave. Of course, we had the common areas which were the kitchen and living room but having that second room just for him and his things really worked well for us. Before we lived in this spacious apartment, we lived in a tiny one bedroom apartment which was cluttered in mainly his old man things. Two bedrooms were accommodating because it gave both of us a chance to spend time apart so he could play his on line games in peace while I watched my guilty pleasure, Love & HipHop. Plus, when we were in a “I’m not speaking to you” mood, we had our separate corners to hide in.
  11. Remember, you’re married now
    It took some adjusting but sometimes we had to remind ourselves – or each other – we are now married, so certain things needed to change. I could no longer have guys texting me throughout the night because it was disrespectful to my husband. This wasn’t his choice, this was my personal choice because I wouldn’t like any of his skanky fan club members to hit him up in the evening either. He also had to learn certain things were not kosher to say to other women because how it could be taken out of context.

You da man, my love!

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If you’ve been married longer than a year, what have you learned? Please, Like, Share, & Comment below!😀

10 Music Videos With Powerful Messages

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Thanx to everyone who gave me suggestions about powerful messages in music videos. From what you guys submitted to me and my personal favorites, I was able to come up with 10. I could have gone further but shit is over 1,300 words and it’s getting late. Anyway, here are 10 music videos with compelling messages.

  1. Rise Against – Make It Stop (September’s Children)
    If there was a video that made me stop and realize how fucked up our world is, this is the video. Rise Against felt the urgency to produce a music video dedicated to all those kids who committed suicide from bullying in September 2011. He mentions a few of those kids in the video as well (Tyler Clementi age 18; Billy Lucas, age 15; Harrison Chase Brown, age 15; Cody J. Barker, age 17; Seth Walsh, age 13). The lyrics are beautifully written and, yet, it still isn’t enough to keep our kids from choosing this path in life. “Too much blood have flown from the wrists of the children shamed for those they chose to kiss.” What’s the message behind this song? It’s in the song: It will get better. If you see someone being bullied, fuck it, beat the shit out of the bully. You saw what happened to that dick who was bullying the blind kid. That asshole got his ass dropped! Well deserved.
  2. Beyonce – Pretty Hurts
    I know, it’s girly but it’s appropriate. Now, guys may not find this relevant but most, if not all, women do. Men really don’t know the pressure women are constantly under. It doesn’t matter how confident we may come off in public, we all have insecurities and there will always be someone to point them out. “Blonder hair, flat chest, TV says, ‘Bigger is better,’ South Beach, sugar free, Vogue says, ‘Thinner is better.” It is painful being a woman. Body hair waxing, bleaching your hair or even your skin, getting your nails done, spending money on your make up. Social media and society keeps forcing us to look a certain way and it feels like we can never do enough to fit in this impossible, bubble we are told to view as the “perfect body.”
  3. Lady Gaga – Born This Way
    Talk about an artistic form of giving birth! Lady Gaga stands for all LGBT kids, teens, young adults, “grown ups,” and she let it be known in her video Born This Way. This music video may not make too much sense the way her lyrics do but… oh, well, it’s my blog! Her song is powerful because she is encouraging us to do the unthinkable: Be ourselves and love ourselves. “Whether life’s disabilities left you outcast, bullied, or teased, rejoice and love yourself today, cause, baby, you were born this way.”
  4. Macklemore & Ryan Lewis – Same Love
    “No freedom until we’re equal, damn right, I support it.” This has always been my favorite line of the entire song. I love this video because it shows the birth of a child who struggles with being gay. A child. This child grows up and has to deal with such fear no one should ever suffer through. The heart warming part of this video, to me, is when he marries his love and you see his mother at his wedding. It’s a beautiful video of a strong relationship. It’s not perverted by religion. It’s funny, the religions that claim being gay is a sin and yet touch and rape little innocent boys, preach such hypocrisy and its followers eat that shit up. I find it pretty ironic that those pedophiles influence a mass amount of people who scream out, “Gay is wrong!” but still worship these religious pedophiles disguised as idols but that’s none of my business…
  5. M.I.A. – Born Free
    This is a pretty graphic video and when I mean graphic, I mean, you see people blowing up. M.I.A. was dubbed the anti-popstar because she, truly, isn’t afraid of taking on political issues. Maybe that’s why we don’t see her videos on MTV or VH1… but Miley Cyrus is okay. Anyway, this video shows a genocide happening towards red-headed individuals. That’s right, gingers being round up, shoved up in a bus, and being forced to run through a minefield. For what? For just having red hair. But Ally, isn’t that what happened with the Jews, gypsies, Christians, and everyone else Hitler didn’t like?  Why, yes, my little buttercup, that is exactly what happened. You see, when a group of people who have such hate against a certain type of person, the human race can become ruthless, blood thirsty, and inhumane and what’s worse, as humans, we don’t need reason for our actions.
  6. P!nk – Family Portrait
    This video may be a little lighter on the eyes for viewers, unless you have lived through this exact situation. The words that really touched me were, ” You fight about money, about me and my brother and this I come home to, this is my shelter. It’s ain’t easy growin’ up in WWIII. Never knowing what love could be, you’ll see. I don’t want love to destroy me like it has done my family.” P!nk tapped into her childhood and decided to write a song conjuring up hard memories of her parents’ divorce. She wrote exactly what every child wants to say to their parents when they are going through problems resulting in divorce.
  7. Serj Tankian – Empty Walls
    This was another video that got me thinking as well. It starts off clearly with a little girl building her two “twin towers” and then a little boy throws his airplane causing her towers to fall. She calls for reinforcement and that is went shit hits the fan. The kids declare war and begin bombing each other, forcing the kids playing “house” out, killing them or throwing them in prison. Other kids opt for suicide car bombs until there is no one left standing but a floor of dead children. The children hear a funeral happening outside and see two parents of a soldier about to be buried. They are all someone’s child. “I loved you yesterday, before you killed my family.” The image that really stuck out to me was the image portraying Ali Shallal al-Qaisi. For the sake of having the FBI kicking down my door, I’ll keep my opinions about this to myself.
  8. Lady Gaga – Til It Happens To You
    This video inspired me to do this post. I wasn’t surprised to see Lady Gaga talk about this issue but I wasn’t ready to see the images of rape being so raw. The images that burned my head were the thrusting and the girl passed out on the chair with her panties down to her knees. Her lyrics are harsh but true. “Tell me how the hell could you know? How could you know? Till it happens to you, you don’t know how it feels.” College campus rape is hitting the spotlight more often than we’d like to admit and what’s worse, these are just the cases women are building the courage to talk about. This doesn’t include the silent stories from women who have been shamed, forcing them to keep quiet about their nightmare.
  9. Pearl Jam – Jeremy
    You know, for a song like this to come out when I was a child and then have my generation have kids to only mistreat them is so mind boggling. Parents, listen to your kids! I was too young to grasp the words to this song and I didn’t watch the full video in its entirety until I was an adult. I knew it was banned because the ending of the video (and b/c of the Hilter salute) but I don’t think it should have ever been banned. We are not the age of innocence and there are far too many children committing suicide because no has is telling them they are loved, they matter, they are worth something.
  10. Madonna – Like A Prayer
    The real and the original Shock Queen, Madonna certainly pissed a lot of people off with this video. Where can I begin? Black Jesus, burning crosses, killing a woman and blaming the black guy, a black saint. Madonna, what didn’t you cover in this video? Racism makes everyone uncomfortable and for her to put it right there, in front of viewers, was kinda her saying, “This is how ignorant you sound.”

Hope you guys enjoyed them! Like, Share, & Comment. If you liked it, great! If you think it sucked, boo! Leave comments below and tell me what video you like that isn’t listed and why it’s awesome.

Stop Bullying My Parents By Calling Me An Anchor Baby

I never touch on politics because, frankly, I’m never confident enough to think I have all my facts straight. Once I hit college, all political talk just sounded like contradictions. Everyone sounded the same or maybe I just couldn’t grasp the lingo faster than the candidates could flip flop what they just said on live news. Years would pass and every candidate would promise their country better lives. While this was going on in the background, I saw my father and my brother become citizens. My eyes still tear up when I see my father’s smile in the picture they took of him and my brother passing their citizenship tests. My father looked so proud and so happy. I am not one to ever discredit anyone, especially my family members but I know the reason he had the opportunity to become a resident in the first place was because of me.

My parents came to the UNITED States illegally many years ago from Ecuador but before they did, they had my brother. Both my mom and dad wanted to come to the U.S. to better, not only their lives, but for my brother as well. Then in 1987, I was born. I was born during a huge blizzard at the end of January. Except for the time I visited Ecuador when I was a year old, I had never left the country. The U.S. was all I knew. I grew up with A.C., I grew up with Barbies, I got roller blades for my birthday, my dad got me a guitar, I went to private school all the way until I graduated High School. I danced to Madonna, I would watched Saturday morning cartoons. Hell, I learned English faster than I did Spanish and yet, today, August 26, 2015, there are people out there who don’t believe I should be a citizen.

Some people say I shouldn’t be a citizen, they refer to me as something else instead. They call me an Anchor Baby. What’s worse is that these people are proud to call me that. To get my point across on how much that word offends me, is simple. Go to an all black community and shout, “YOU’RE A NIGGER.” THAT’S how offensive I find that word. I never even took offense when someone called me a “spic.” Maybe it was my ignorance to think n* wasn’t that bad, maybe I became numb to it but the moment I heard Anchor Baby, it was as if someone punched me in my solar plexus – knocked the air right out of me. I get it now. NOW, I get it. I understand how the black community can feel a slap to the face whenever they hear that word being said to them. It’s not right and it will never be okay.

Being an American is all I’ve ever known. Yes, I do realize the U.S. does has its own issues, it’s not perfect, it doesn’t have any shame for breeding Miley Cyrus, the world knows we are fucked up but I know enough to say I am proud to have been born here, gone to school here, be in total debt for going to college here. I’m lucky. I’m luckier than my brother because I didn’t have to jump through extra hoops to go to school. My parents loved us. Both my parents worked their hands to the bone. They both worked in factories and the both moved up. Some people may think they didn’t because my mom is a housekeeper while my dad does maintenance and security but these people didn’t see how my parents were treated at those shitty places. My mom worked for as long as I could remember and always, made us dinner every night. She had a cold? Didn’t matter, she cooked. She had a migraine? Didn’t matter, she cooked. My father worked hard and still had time and patience to take us to the beach, lakes, Florida, parks, anywhere you can think of because he loved us.

My parents were honest people who, indeed, gave my brother and I everything they didn’t have. We knew our parents worked for us so much so we wouldn’t tell them the expensive toys we wanted as children because we knew they would work extra hours or skip a meal at work so they could save money just so we could have the expensive toys that I, without a doubt, would break within a week. My parents wanted to become citizens for years and the one time they thought they could trust someone to do it for them, the scumbag ended up stealing their money. I became their safest option. Once I became 21, the paperwork began and before I knew it, both became residents. My father studied English for years, took night classes, and studied for the citizenship test. I had no doubt in my mind, he was going to pass. The Monday came for him to take it and he passed. They gave him a little American flag and his document. I don’t think I have ever been prouder of my dad. My mother is due to take her test soon.

My parents worked hard their whole lives, gave my brother and I the best they could with what little they had so how does your parents differ from mine? People are so quick to jump on immigration and shout to us, “Go back to where you came from!” and these are the same people who went to school and read the same history books I did. Excuse me, wasn’t it an immigrant to came here and said, “This is all ours now. Give me your land and your resources and get to stepping!” I don’t hear your ancestors complaining because if it wasn’t for THAT thieving immigrant, NONE OF YOU would be here. The difference between that immigrant and my parents: They didn’t steal, they earned what they had. Before you argue, “Immigrants are stealing jobs.” Please, dunk your hand in your own filthy toilet. Clean your own kitchen. Hire a horny 16 year old kid to take care of your baby. Or better yet, spend hundreds of dollars for “legal” citizens to do these tasks. Immigrants do the jobs that no one wants to. I’m proud of what my parents went through and where they are now because they are honest, hardworking Ecuadorians who taught my brother and I to work hard, be honest, and be good people.

What makes you better than me? What makes me a citizen? What makes your parents hard work different than my parent’s hard work?

Stop bullying my parents. Stop shaming them for being born in another country and wanting them to  give their kids better lives. STOP SHAMING ME FOR HELPING THE ONLY TWO CANDIDATES WHO PROMISED TO GIVE ME A BETTER LIFE AND ACTUALLY DELIVERED!!

Happy International Dog Day!

In celebration of National Dog Day, I will display photos of my pups. You’re lucky you’re not following me on Instagram or Facebook b/c this is pretty much all I post🙂 So enjoy!

P.S. I am now freelancing (go me! yay!)

Here is my article for National Dog Day !

Woof.

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Whiskey is my first dog. He is about 9 years old. He was maybe 7 here🙂
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Left is Jack Daniels and Whiskey to the right. Jack passed away at 6 about 3 months ago…
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Jack, I believe at 4/5 months
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Whiskey when he was the only “child.” He was the only dog in the household until Jack came.
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Brothers❤

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Seriously, how can you think he’s NOT cute?

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Whiskey last year. My old man.

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Jack and my brother. Jack was about, 4 years old here.
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He was BIG.
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Suddenly, a wild Potato appeared.
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She was a shy little booger.
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She was also a lazy booger.
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But no matter what, she always found comfort in her dad.
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Jack and Whiskey meeting their first little sister, Potato.

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Women Period Shaming – Shame On You!

A few days ago I stumbled upon an article on the Huffington Post . Kiran Gandhi had trained for a year to race in a marathon that I believe was to raise awareness to breast cancer. I started this post over a week ago and I am glad I held back from posting so I could do some research on this. In the beginning, I wanted to rant and say that no one cares that a girl has her period but then I realized, I was being naive.

Courtesy of HollywoodLife.com
Courtesy of HollywoodLife.com

Kiran wanted to raise awareness on period shaming and let people know that there are other women in less fortunate countries that do not have easy access to tampons and pads. I do feel like her doing this took away from the actual breast cancer awareness she was running in the first place but in a ironic way, she was genius for what she did.

In my opinion, this generation has gotten over the period scandal and stopped seeing it as dirty. I was wrong. My favorite YouTuber Jenna Marbles refuses to make a video poking fun at periods b/c she thinks it’s disgusting. I also read comments about the Kiran article and was shocked to discover women shaming her. They were shaming her because she had the nerve to run and show her period. Are you fucking kidding me? This isn’t Carrie! I can understand men acting obliviously hypocritical: I don’t trust anything that bleeds for 7 days… but I’ll fuck as many as possible & love the child that comes out of there.

Courtesy of thefemmenistlens.com
Courtesy of thefemmenistlens.worpress.com

But for women to dare shame any other woman for her period? THAT is disgusting and you are what’s wrong with the world.

I couldn’t believe how many women were commenting, “Ew! Period blood is disgusting! No one needs to know she’s on the rag! She is so gross for bleeding!” I don’t think they realized Kiran did that to POINT THESE WOMEN OUT FOR THEIR PERIOD SHAMING! So when a 12 year old girl gets her period in class for the first time, it’s okay to shame her and say, “Ew! Period blood is disgusting! No one needs to know she’s on the rag! She is so gross for bleeding!” Her point literally went over what she was trying to prove and what’s worse, when I tried explaining it to them, THEY STILL DIDN’T GET IT. Grow up, people. It’s 2015, we shouldn’t shame other women for going through a natural cycle. We have crazy women carrying out a pee stick to prove to their baby daddies that they are pregnant but bleeding every month is gross?  GTFO.

Courtesy of MetalInjection.net
Courtesy of MetalInjection.net

P.S.

My dad always bought the correct pads for me when I was younger. I asked my mom one time and she got me the wrong ones. My dad was on point. Shout out to my dad, you da real MVP, Pops!

Don’t be stressed the fuck out

We are moving again and with that comes lots of stress. I’m trying to organize everything with time to spare so I don’t lose my mind. Whenever I do get stressed out and feel like I’m ready to punch something or someone, I try my best to do something else to release that frustration.

Despite my physical appearance, I actually find going to the gym very relaxing. I even went to today to relieve some tension and stress after not going for over a month. I was reluctant at first to cough up the money but after they allowed me to use their gym I had a change a heart. All I needed was less than 5 minutes of cardio to realize this does make me instantly happy and because I focus on my breathing, I don’t think of anything else. Of course, the perfect song playlist also bumps up the energy.

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courtesy of thick-to-thin.com

Speaking of music, sing your little heart out! I don’t know about you but I may not have the best sounding voice but I can belt it out – when I’m alone… and off key. I like to turn off my phone or leave it somewhere on vibrate and just sing along to whatever good song I hear. I’ll YouTube the shit out of lyrics, although you could get lost in YouTube and then end up watching a cyst removal and completely spend the rest of the afternoon being grossed out and intrigued. I made this weird, didn’t I? Anyway, honestly, I think any type of music will help you relieve stress, however, pick the wrong tune and you’ll be stuck overthinking the situation you’re trying to run away from.

Physical activities that do not involve a gym. I have always been attracted to rough sports. I did TaeKwonDo, Muay Thai, and paintball. Trust me, it will keep your distracted from whatever it is you need a break from. You have to concentrate in everything you are doing. In paintball, if you’re  not focused, you are going to get shot and that shit HURTS. Wanna know what happens when you’re not concentrating in martial arts?
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Thinking of something else and not your target in paintball?
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Shit is no joke. I have a high tolerance for physical pain and I got an intense adrenaline rush when I was running from point A to point B with my paintball gun. The only difference between martial arts and paintball is in martial arts, you are focusing on your form and how you are performing with kicks, punches, kneeing etc. In paintball, you’re on a team so the pressure is on. You can’t be thinking about what happened prior while you are on the field. The outcome are both the same, though: You get a hit in & it feels amazing.

As I write this, I am also comfortable saying writing is also an outlet. Fellow bloggers, I hope you know what I mean. I can always depend on writing to take out my frustration. I can sit down and start writing away, delete what I didn’t like, not worried about who will see it, etc. It’s like turning on a faucet, the words and the emotions just flow out and like the sound of running water, it’s relaxing for me. I’ve been writing on blogs, my college newspaper,  HelloGiggles, journals since I was 11 years old and it’s always been something I’ve been committed to. Just because I don’t update as often as I should, doesn’t mean I’m not writing in general. It’s something that comes natural to me whether it’s feeling my fingertips push on a keyboard or feeling a pen in between my fingers, it’s a calming sensation.

Finding something that calms you is hard, especially if you don’t have hobbies but don’t let that discourage you. Try different things and activities to figure out what eases your nerves. Walking a dog could help, too. I like to walk Potato and leave my phone behind so I just enjoy the outside noise and watch Potato lose her mind. Whatever floats your boat but I would highly recommend the activities I have done and still do🙂😀

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