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Types of Friends

Cory_x_Shawn
Get you a friendship like Cory and Shawn

Throughout life, you will meet hundreds of people, maybe thousands – no, MILLIONS! I don’t know your life but I don’t think I’ve met millions but that is because I enjoy being a hermit. Can we say FOMO? Is that right? Did I use that right? Oh, you kids and your new lingo…! 🙂

Anyway! Throughout your life, you will meet a substantial amount of people and some of those encounters will blossom into friendships, even life long friendships. Like regular people, these friendships may not feel the same. You may even find yourself putting them into categories because it is 2018 and we need to categorize everything or else OUR WORLD IS OUT OF ORDER. Here are the type of friends you’ll have.

  1. The Distance Friend
    You know which ones these are. It’s the friend that had to move away (or you moved away). You say, “We’ll keep in touch,” but never do, however, sometimes, we do meet amazing people that are worth staying in touch with. You text all the time, FaceTime, Facebook video chat each other to keep the other person involved in your life. You don’t go too many days without hearing from them. These friends normally tend to cherish the friendship. These are the best people.
  2. The Frenemy… Friend…?
    These toxic ass people need to be left where they festered from – middle school or high school. Frenemy (friends that are enemies) are never good people, in fact, they can be very damaging to your self esteem if you allow them to be. Whenever something terrible happens, they relish on it; whenever something positive happens to you, they rain on your parade. Why do they exist? I don’t know. Why are you friends with them? I don’t know but you will reach an age where you’ll just end the connection and realize you don’t need that negativity in your life.

    Sandi_Quinn_ohDEAR
    Anyone catch this reference?
  3. The Time Invested Friend
    The Throw Back Friend, the friend you have scandalous pictures of before there were phones and social media readily available. This is the one you had met when you couldn’t even spell your name correctly. I have two who fit this criteria: one whose parents were friends with my parents and the other who I learned how to write the alphabet with. You can’t let go of these friends because not only do they have a SHIT ton of dirt on you but these were the ones who know the real you, not the Instagram lie you lead.
  4. The Spouse Friend
    Surprisingly enough, you’d be shocked how many married couples do not see their spouse as their friend, just a person they ended up marrying. Go ahead, ask some of your parents and if they say they are besties, REALLY watch their interactions, you’ll be questioning love forever. It took me years to see my husband as someone I can confide in, not just as a spouse but as a friend who has been there for me as a human being because they chose to – not out of marital obligation.
  5. The Down Ass Friend
    You can depend on this person to always lift your spirits and bring out the best of you. They are always down to hang out in any situation and have a good time! Whether it’s just having a drink or going out somewhere new. They won’t tear you down and they will remind you how awesome you are.

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    Where my Broad City girls at?!
  6. The One That Got Away Friend
    When a friendship ends, it’s never a fun time and it’s worse when there was a lot of time invested. I know I had said earlier how you need to keep these people in your life but, sometimes, the friendship may not be worth saving. At some point, I had to cut a friend loose because I felt it was very one sided despite knowing each other for years. It hurt but I also knew it wasn’t genuine.  We either both put in effort or kick rocks!
  7. The Cat Pee Friend
    This is what I call the “Jealous” friend. These are people who only make plans with one person and then get upset when that said person hangs out with others. I refer to them as Cat Pee because they will mark their scent on someone as if to say, “This person is MY FRIEND, MINE. YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO HANG OUT WITH THIS PERSON.” Lord forbid Jealous finds out their friend spent time with someone else “behind their back”. I have met a few people like this and there is a reason I don’t hang out with them. I don’t need them to post pictures or updates whenever we are together. Just be friends, dude, don’t show me off like a pawn to make people jealous. Unless it’s Ryan Reynolds, then PLEASE TAKE PICTURES OF US TOGETHER!

    ryan
    Deadpool as Ryan Reynolds
  8. The Chill At Home Friend
    This is my type of friend. The one you are comfortable enough with to just walk into their home, take a blanket and just cuddle up on the couch for either movies, shows, chit chat, what have you. You don’t feel pressure to do anything and can literally spend all day there without doing much and just enjoy their company (vice versa). Ya’ll would rather lounge about than go out to bars. *UVA, anyone?

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    That WAS my bed until she took over it with her pups!

There you have it! How many of these friends do you have? Cut that frenemy off! Just like pineapples on pizza, they are just out for a terrible time and ruin everything around you… I STAND BY MY CHOICE.

 

 

*UVA is like the Uber Eats in Puerto Rico 😀

My lonely Valentines

Military spouses are no strangers to being alone on important holidays and I can understand why they would dread spending today alone. After all, you are surrounded by pink and red colors, the word “love” splashed everywhere, and happy couples while you only have Netflix to depend on.

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Yes.

Where did this sappy holiday come from?
Lemme school you on where this joyous holiday came from. St. Valentine was a Christian priest who literally died for love. He found it unfair for Emperor Claudius II to ban engagements and weddings for the sake of having more soldiers. Claudius was pretty much a dick because he got into so many wars that he was running out of soldiers and lovers did not want to leave their families to fight Claudius’ battles. On top of being a fan of war, he didn’t really treat his people fairly so it is understandable why no one wanted to fight for him anymore. St. Valentine was not having any of Claudius’ shit and believed love should never be banned or prohibited (are you listening, you Judgey Judies?), so, he secretly began marrying couples. When he was outed, he was sent to prison and was put to death but not before confessing his love to a blind girl. How did he do this? No, not with a pen, but with ink squeezed from violets. That’s right, he wrote her a sonnet composed of ink squeezed from violets. Sadly, he was still put to death the next day. Valentine’s day is celebrated on February 14 because it is believed lovebirds, doves, and owls began to mate that day after the Catholic Church granted him Sainthood.

Now that you know the history of why we celebrate this day, I can admit that I’ve never been one to celebrate this holiday. After learning about the saint, I can absolutely respect the day and the man but I just don’t expect my husband to give me gifts because it’s just another day. Plus it has become sooo commercialized, I mean, c’mon, before you read this, did you know who Saint Valentine was and why he is honored? No, because HE isn’t honored, per se, the action of love, what he died for, is celebrated. With that being said, does it change your perspective on today?

Still a V-day Grinch? Celebrate the other “holidays” that are on February 14!
This love and sex filled date is also shared with Library Lovers’ Day (Australia), International Book Giving day, National Cream Filled Chocolate day, and Quirkyalone Day. No one said you couldn’t acknowledge any other event going on in the world so here are a few things you can try and do today besides wallow in your emotions.

  1. Be a fun parent if your spouse is deployed. Have the kids make some sort of arts and craft gift for their parent so when they do come back, they’ll have piles of cards and gifts. Plus, it’ll keep the kids busy and your mind occupied.
  2. Love isn’t just for marriages and relationships. Go visit a children’s hospital, bring them Valentine Cards or even little snacks. They can always use new visitors and it’ll be a nice feeling for them to be acknowledged by someone besides their parents.
  3. Pamper yourself. This doesn’t just go for women, I’m sure there are “Me” things husbands can do to make themselves feel good. Ladies, get dolled up for yourselves, make yourselves a HAPPY dinner, not a sad, woo is me, dinner-for-one meals.
  4. While you’re all sexified, take a few pictures or even videos for your boo thing and send them to their phone or have a photo shoot printed out so when they return home, they have an extra goodie.
  5. Buy cream filled chocolates! You don’t have to share with ANYONE!
  6. Don’t be bitter. Just because your spouse is away absolutely does not give you a free bitter card. Don’t be jealous or say the famous “Must be nice…” phrase to other couples. You don’t know how many other meaningful days they had to spend away from each other nor do you know their struggles. Don’t rain on their parade.

    Remember-all-Valentine-Day-candy-goes-sale-next-day
    Don’t be shitty.
  7. If you’re a military spouse, invite some other spouses whose S/O are away. Bring out the board games, snacks, PJ’s, or dress up! Something lively so you don’t end the night on a sad, tearful note.
  8. Do what YOU want to do. Reread an amazing book or watch trashy TV. Dive into something you love to indulge in that you normally wouldn’t be able to do with your spouse around (*ahem* KUWTK).

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“Why did you stop?”

In mid November, I had met up with a high school friend, Diandra, and when she asked me, “So, what are you doing in Puerto Rico?!”

I replied,

“Nothing. Just a housewife.”

Catching up just to sit down
I had went back to New Jersey for a few weeks due to hurricane Maria ripping through Puerto Rico. I stayed with my parents and I was able to catch up with some friends, mainly my high school girls, Mimi and Joy. Thankfully, we all live close to each other and decided to meet up and catch up on what has been going on in our lives.

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Old friends

Mimi struggled with anxiety but works hard to not let it run her life. She dished about her amazing job, the comfortable pay, exciting trip she took to Europe last year, and even about a new man in her life. Despite it all, she looked and sounded genuinely happy. Despite her demons, she was able to overcome all of her hardship and find herself on top.

Joy will be getting married in March, she is a registered nurse, and she is still climbing up, focused on actually helping people, and secure her future. After seeing her with someone for over 10 years who, not only mentally abused her, but constantly cheated and actually held her back from her full potential, it was heart warming to know she was able to rise up and realize her self worth.

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Friends

When it was my turn to speak, I was already mentally preparing myself for the same conversation with Diandra and I was ready to recite, once again, “Nothing. Just a housewife.” Instead, these powerful, ambitious, independent women asked:

“Are you still running?”
“What happened to your blog?”
“Why did you stop writing?”
“What about drawing?”

Once I heard these questions, it was as if they were describing this unique, happy, free individual with talent and ambition. Those talents and pastimes just floated in the air to form a person who was full of life, just to be let down and shut out. That wasn’t me or, I guess, it used to be but not anymore. To be honest, they caught me off guard, I was surprised they knew that much about me!

So, why did I stop?
I guess I stopped doing these things because I am afraid of failing. I am afraid my writing has suffered because I haven’t been on top of it. I am afraid of running because I haven’t in so long. I’m afraid of drawing because I don’t feel good enough to do so. I am afraid of updating my blog because I will feel insignificant and whiny. I would be lying if I didn’t think Annie (my anxiety) had something to do with how I am feeling. My anxiety does pull me down but hearing my friends actually care about little things I enjoyed doing gave me the little push I needed.

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My wedding day

I had been away from my friends for so long and have settled for others due to my living situation that I forgot who I was. Of course, I don’t mean I NEED them to get me back on track but to be reminded of the person you once were from the people who actually took notice, does help  me put things into perspective. It’s so easy to meet people but most just want to talk about themselves rather than get to know you and through that, I lost who I was. Yes, this does sound needy but sometimes, you just need real encouragement from friends who know the real you.

Trying is better than not
I am not one of those people who go around shouting “New Year, New Me!” Whenever I say I am going to change something about myself, I never do. In fact, I get overwhelmed by the pressure and end up doing the opposite and stop. What they said stuck with me and slowly I was getting my itch to doodle and write again. I worked on a little doodle D had been asking for, I wrote down some ideas for the blog, and had to buy a new charger to use my laptop. It would be too easy to say I will be updating more often but I would also be lying. I am hoping to keep up and actually do it and that’s all I can say.

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Everything will fall into place

 

 

Ways of getting around being homesick

Has anyone ever been homesick? I remember when I was about 18 years old, I had went to California to visit my brother for a month. Holy shit, by week 3, I was so homesick and actually missed my parents. Before you say, “well, you’re a baby, you’re supposed to miss them,” – no. I was 18 years old. I’m supposed to be happy to be away and the first two weeks were great but I really got home sick for my parents, their food, surrounding, comfortableness of home. Thankfully, my brother took me out so I wasn’t obsessing over how much I missed home. I didn’t get that feeling until I moved to another state least year. By that time, I was 27 years old. The first few weeks were, again, great because I had moved with my new hubby but then he left. He had to go underway and I was alone. I had never been all alone for such a long period of time in my entire life. I had dormed in college but I always had a room mate. I learned very quickly, I needed to adjust and keep myself occupied.

Below are some activities that I have done to help me cope with being homesick. Enjoy!

1. NETFLIX! I’ll talk about the fucking gym later on. We all know Netflix is good for the body and soul, too! Get into a show that is going to keep you busy and entertained. I decided on the Gilmore Girls because it has so many seasons, Army Wives, Sons of Anarchy, Pretty Little Liars. Shows with over 3 seasons will be your best friend – especially if you’re away at college… that is, when you finally take the nozzle of the beer you’ve been funneling out of your mouth!09e
courtesy of knowyourmeme.com

note: RESIST watching the seasons in a weekend time. You will burn through your shows, be depressed when they end, and be at square one again.

2. Get a hobby. I hate when people say that to me. I feel like the girls I know don’t really have many hobbies. Please spare me, hiking, gym, running as hobbies – shoot yourselves. I’m addressing this to the “normal” cupcake eating, occasional jogging to show off your new leggings, “I’ll start this diet Monday” girls. I actually found my hobby (if you can call it that) and that is cosplaying. Once I get into a project, THAT IS IT. I devote a lot of time to the character I am creating. What makes this particular hobby fun and time consuming is the way I make the costumes. I normally do a “rough draft” as practice to see if I can work with the first thing I made or if I need to tweak it or start from scratch by using another method. Cosplaying is a lot of work and can drain some money. I just started this hobby so I am not savvy on buying cheap but good material yet.
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courtesy of memegenerator.com

3. Plants. This might sound crazy but it took me years to enjoy the presence of plants. We have a little jalepno plant in our apartment that is about 2 years old now. I want to actually grow my own veggies, herbs, and fruits one day. You can start off with one plant (no cactus, put some effort into this) and do some research on how to care for it. You’ll be surprised how much you can learn about plants…
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courtesy of memecenter..com

Keep building your own little garden (if the weather you live in permits). This will give you a daily routine. When my husband is away, I would wake up, take our puppy out to pee, come back in, make coffee, brush my teeth, water the plant, check how it’s doing, and count down the calendar. It will not only give your place life but it will also give you a sense of accomplishment of being able to keep something other than yourself alive.

4. Already have a plant in process? Try a pet (if you can afford or are allowed to have one in your facility). Believe me, these little fur babies WILL keep you busy all day long. You’ll be even busier if you get a puppy! Please refer to my previous post about adopting a puppy. I fucking love my Potato… anyway!  These guys will keep you so busy you won’t have time to be homesick unless you have never taken care of animal by yourself. In that case, you may have a total meltdown from the pressure of having to keep a living, breathing, walking creature alive and if you fail, no one will love you because who would love a puppy killer?…………………………………….

………………………….

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Moving on =D

Please be certain you have the time, patience, money, and love to care for an animal. Just because you have love for them, doesn’t mean you have the rest of the qualities to care for one.

5. Gym. If all the other tips fail or begin to prove signs that you’re repressing emotions, give this a shot. This was also part of my routine but I am in no means in shape.
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courtesy of pixshark.com

I strictly used the gym to fill up time and keep me occupied. I basically went to pass the time but when I was in there, whether I was running, lifting, or anything else, my mind was focused on what I was doing. I don’t need to lose concentration and get hurt for the security cameras to record and later make fun of me. Nothing is on my mind except what I am doing at that moment and, of course, my breathing.

6. Get a job or join a club. I hate group activities, which is why I put this last.
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courtesy of memecenter.com

If you have a job that keeps you busy, you should be okay. If you don’t have a job and you’re a social butterfly, try joining a club or volunteer your time (for those who can’t afford paying a monthly fee for a club due to no job!). Again, this will keep your mind focused and really force you to be independent.

There you go, if you have made it this far, thank you for reading and thank you for understanding my sarcasm. Being homesick sucks and I still get it time to time but I do all of these things that keep me from going fucking insane.

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