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Types of Friends

Cory_x_Shawn
Get you a friendship like Cory and Shawn

Throughout life, you will meet hundreds of people, maybe thousands – no, MILLIONS! I don’t know your life but I don’t think I’ve met millions but that is because I enjoy being a hermit. Can we say FOMO? Is that right? Did I use that right? Oh, you kids and your new lingo…! 🙂

Anyway! Throughout your life, you will meet a substantial amount of people and some of those encounters will blossom into friendships, even life long friendships. Like regular people, these friendships may not feel the same. You may even find yourself putting them into categories because it is 2018 and we need to categorize everything or else OUR WORLD IS OUT OF ORDER. Here are the type of friends you’ll have.

  1. The Distance Friend
    You know which ones these are. It’s the friend that had to move away (or you moved away). You say, “We’ll keep in touch,” but never do, however, sometimes, we do meet amazing people that are worth staying in touch with. You text all the time, FaceTime, Facebook video chat each other to keep the other person involved in your life. You don’t go too many days without hearing from them. These friends normally tend to cherish the friendship. These are the best people.
  2. The Frenemy… Friend…?
    These toxic ass people need to be left where they festered from – middle school or high school. Frenemy (friends that are enemies) are never good people, in fact, they can be very damaging to your self esteem if you allow them to be. Whenever something terrible happens, they relish on it; whenever something positive happens to you, they rain on your parade. Why do they exist? I don’t know. Why are you friends with them? I don’t know but you will reach an age where you’ll just end the connection and realize you don’t need that negativity in your life.

    Sandi_Quinn_ohDEAR
    Anyone catch this reference?
  3. The Time Invested Friend
    The Throw Back Friend, the friend you have scandalous pictures of before there were phones and social media readily available. This is the one you had met when you couldn’t even spell your name correctly. I have two who fit this criteria: one whose parents were friends with my parents and the other who I learned how to write the alphabet with. You can’t let go of these friends because not only do they have a SHIT ton of dirt on you but these were the ones who know the real you, not the Instagram lie you lead.
  4. The Spouse Friend
    Surprisingly enough, you’d be shocked how many married couples do not see their spouse as their friend, just a person they ended up marrying. Go ahead, ask some of your parents and if they say they are besties, REALLY watch their interactions, you’ll be questioning love forever. It took me years to see my husband as someone I can confide in, not just as a spouse but as a friend who has been there for me as a human being because they chose to – not out of marital obligation.
  5. The Down Ass Friend
    You can depend on this person to always lift your spirits and bring out the best of you. They are always down to hang out in any situation and have a good time! Whether it’s just having a drink or going out somewhere new. They won’t tear you down and they will remind you how awesome you are.

    giphy
    Where my Broad City girls at?!
  6. The One That Got Away Friend
    When a friendship ends, it’s never a fun time and it’s worse when there was a lot of time invested. I know I had said earlier how you need to keep these people in your life but, sometimes, the friendship may not be worth saving. At some point, I had to cut a friend loose because I felt it was very one sided despite knowing each other for years. It hurt but I also knew it wasn’t genuine.  We either both put in effort or kick rocks!
  7. The Cat Pee Friend
    This is what I call the “Jealous” friend. These are people who only make plans with one person and then get upset when that said person hangs out with others. I refer to them as Cat Pee because they will mark their scent on someone as if to say, “This person is MY FRIEND, MINE. YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO HANG OUT WITH THIS PERSON.” Lord forbid Jealous finds out their friend spent time with someone else “behind their back”. I have met a few people like this and there is a reason I don’t hang out with them. I don’t need them to post pictures or updates whenever we are together. Just be friends, dude, don’t show me off like a pawn to make people jealous. Unless it’s Ryan Reynolds, then PLEASE TAKE PICTURES OF US TOGETHER!

    ryan
    Deadpool as Ryan Reynolds
  8. The Chill At Home Friend
    This is my type of friend. The one you are comfortable enough with to just walk into their home, take a blanket and just cuddle up on the couch for either movies, shows, chit chat, what have you. You don’t feel pressure to do anything and can literally spend all day there without doing much and just enjoy their company (vice versa). Ya’ll would rather lounge about than go out to bars. *UVA, anyone?

    img_4331
    That WAS my bed until she took over it with her pups!

There you have it! How many of these friends do you have? Cut that frenemy off! Just like pineapples on pizza, they are just out for a terrible time and ruin everything around you… I STAND BY MY CHOICE.

 

 

*UVA is like the Uber Eats in Puerto Rico 😀

“Why did you stop?”

In mid November, I had met up with a high school friend, Diandra, and when she asked me, “So, what are you doing in Puerto Rico?!”

I replied,

“Nothing. Just a housewife.”

Catching up just to sit down
I had went back to New Jersey for a few weeks due to hurricane Maria ripping through Puerto Rico. I stayed with my parents and I was able to catch up with some friends, mainly my high school girls, Mimi and Joy. Thankfully, we all live close to each other and decided to meet up and catch up on what has been going on in our lives.

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Old friends

Mimi struggled with anxiety but works hard to not let it run her life. She dished about her amazing job, the comfortable pay, exciting trip she took to Europe last year, and even about a new man in her life. Despite it all, she looked and sounded genuinely happy. Despite her demons, she was able to overcome all of her hardship and find herself on top.

Joy will be getting married in March, she is a registered nurse, and she is still climbing up, focused on actually helping people, and secure her future. After seeing her with someone for over 10 years who, not only mentally abused her, but constantly cheated and actually held her back from her full potential, it was heart warming to know she was able to rise up and realize her self worth.

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Friends

When it was my turn to speak, I was already mentally preparing myself for the same conversation with Diandra and I was ready to recite, once again, “Nothing. Just a housewife.” Instead, these powerful, ambitious, independent women asked:

“Are you still running?”
“What happened to your blog?”
“Why did you stop writing?”
“What about drawing?”

Once I heard these questions, it was as if they were describing this unique, happy, free individual with talent and ambition. Those talents and pastimes just floated in the air to form a person who was full of life, just to be let down and shut out. That wasn’t me or, I guess, it used to be but not anymore. To be honest, they caught me off guard, I was surprised they knew that much about me!

So, why did I stop?
I guess I stopped doing these things because I am afraid of failing. I am afraid my writing has suffered because I haven’t been on top of it. I am afraid of running because I haven’t in so long. I’m afraid of drawing because I don’t feel good enough to do so. I am afraid of updating my blog because I will feel insignificant and whiny. I would be lying if I didn’t think Annie (my anxiety) had something to do with how I am feeling. My anxiety does pull me down but hearing my friends actually care about little things I enjoyed doing gave me the little push I needed.

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My wedding day

I had been away from my friends for so long and have settled for others due to my living situation that I forgot who I was. Of course, I don’t mean I NEED them to get me back on track but to be reminded of the person you once were from the people who actually took notice, does help  me put things into perspective. It’s so easy to meet people but most just want to talk about themselves rather than get to know you and through that, I lost who I was. Yes, this does sound needy but sometimes, you just need real encouragement from friends who know the real you.

Trying is better than not
I am not one of those people who go around shouting “New Year, New Me!” Whenever I say I am going to change something about myself, I never do. In fact, I get overwhelmed by the pressure and end up doing the opposite and stop. What they said stuck with me and slowly I was getting my itch to doodle and write again. I worked on a little doodle D had been asking for, I wrote down some ideas for the blog, and had to buy a new charger to use my laptop. It would be too easy to say I will be updating more often but I would also be lying. I am hoping to keep up and actually do it and that’s all I can say.

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Everything will fall into place

 

 

The time i took a Chance on Lucky

Coming to realization that you’re wrong is one thing, admitting it is a totally different factor. I’m no expert on life and lessons but it has taken me a long time to get to the point in my life where I can look back on things and really come to the conclusion, “I did fuck up.” In most relationships, the partners blame each other for a nasty break up. It’s always, “He was such a dick!” or “Man, she was a bitch.”
memecollection.net
courtesy of memecollection.net

There are always two sides of each story: his and hers. Before I met my husband, I was dating someone who I, admittedly, treated less than what he deserved. Now, I’m not saying he was an angel by any means. Let me explain…

I had met this guy in college, I’ll call him Lucky, and he came into my life at a very convenient time. Now, keeping in mind, this is MY blog, and with that said, I will write exactly what I feel. Should Lucky ever read this, he should remember how brutally honest I can be. I doubt he ever will though since he’s not my biggest fan… plus I’m sure he has referred to me as varies names… none of which were my actual name. When I had met Lucky it wasn’t love at first sight, hell, it wasn’t even lust as first sight. Both of us were just in each other’s lives at a specific time when we were both trying to get over past loves. He had a list of girls he was trying to move on from while I had one guy. I should have known he wasn’t right for me when he suggested to “get on the corner,” when I was complaining about money trouble. He meant this as a joke, of course, but I would have never, ever dated anyone who would ever make a joke like that to me. I have a sailor’s mouth but I was spoiled by proper speaking men (which is why I love my husband!).

While we did date my confidence did sky rocket because I was finally getting comfortable in my own skin. I didn’t have anyone judging me. Our mutual feelings for each other were less than a loving couple and more like a friendship. That is, until I started to punish him for the last guy’s mistake. I hated his best female friend, his best male friend was a hot mess and don’t get me started on his baby mother that I was forced to spend a weekend with. I only wanted to hang out with him, I wasn’t very supportive about his dad being absent his whole life,  I would pick him apart, babyed the shit out of him, and just wasn’t pleasant to be around. I always, ALWAYS, compared him to the previous guy. I set unbelievable standards that I felt Lucky would never reach (Lucky proved me wrong. He is actually succeeding in life so for that, I’m happy about.), which was totally unfair.
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courtesy of memestache.com
Okay, I wasn’t THIS bad. I WASN’T screwing his friends that’s for damn sure!

Despite our “best efforts” of working it out, we both came to the conclusion that it was never going to go far. I kind of always knew that because I never saw a future with him.

Once we broke up, I realized, I never really loved him but, man, did I miss his presence. My brother actually pointed it out that I didn’t miss him because I loved him, I just missed being around him. That quickly staled when I found out that my “friend” who was helping me get through the break up was also shacking him with him (This also worked in my benefit because that they ended up dating and breaking up anyway. And FYI, she still bashes him on social media.). I should make it clear, Lucky NEVER cheated on me, not that I know of anyway but it was a shady and shitty thing to do to nail my “friend” a few weeks after we broke up. Normally break ups take me a while to get over but this was fairly quickly. We dated for about 2 years and I was over him in about 3 months give or take. Today, I have no animosity towards him.
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courtesy of imgflip.com
The break up could have been cleaner if a certain heifer didn’t moo her way in so shady like.

I had actually seen him for the first time since our break up when I had to go to his job. We had both worked in the same credit union and I still stayed friends with the manager. I walked in with my dadda and met with the manager. Lucky popped his head in and sarcastically began grilling me with questions about who the hell sold me a car and taught me to drive. Jackass J but I wasn’t even mad. I was actually impressed and humbled that he even came in at all. I even waved goodbye as I left the building. I had needed to go there a couple of times afterwards and each time, he was respectful, professional, and just kind. I didn’t feel awkward at all BECAUSE he made the first move. I really admired how mature he was those times when he could have just ignored me and played the petty part. Once again, he had proven me wrong: I didn’t really know him and I should have given him more credit than I did. I should have known better… had I PROPERLY invested my emotions in the relationship.

Now, he is happily dating his female best friend and, to be quite honest, I really hope it lasts. She was the one he should have been with from the beginning. While we were together, he did share nice stories the two shared. I think I wasn’t fond of her because I knew they made more sense than we did. I never really got to know her but I know enough about her that I believe she will make him happy. They seem to be more compatible than most relationships I’ve seen. He is a great person; we just weren’t a great fit and I’m happy he finally found someone he can be himself with.
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courtesy of memegenerator.com

So, there you go. I know I was a shitty girlfriend and he deserved someone who was %100 in it for him, not an idea of someone else. And Lucky, if you ever read this, know that I am sending you my best wishes to your relationship and I mean this from the bottom of my heart 🙂

Leelah’s Note

Sometime last week I was cruising around Facebook and instead of focusing on the new cat videos and dogs dressed in Holiday clothes, a news’ link caught my attention. Because I support all gays and every part of that lifestyle, I follow LGBT News. The story that captured my attention was Leelah Alcorns’. In a nutshell, she was a transgendered teen who knew was a woman stuck inside a man’s body. First of all, let me add, she was a CHILD. She was 14 years old when she came out to her Christian parents and asked if she can begin her transition. She was not only forbidden to do so, she was actually sent to Christian therapists who also told her she was wrong and could not change. Her life was changed completely around. She was taken out of school and not allowed to see her friends. Interesting enough, it was her friends who accepted her for who she was when she came out as gay. After being beaten down and shamed by her parents, Leelah wrote and posted her suicide note and published it on Tumblr. She committed suicide by walking in front of a truck.

After everything was said and done, her parents (her mother) posted on Facebook how her SON had committed suicide and asked for the Facebook community to please keep her family in their prayers…

Excuse me? Please keep YOUR FAMILY in our prayers? No. Let’s keep Leelah in our prayers. Despite everything Leelah wrote and requested, her parents still keep referring to her as “him,” “he,” and “boy.” They obviously have no respect for their daughter and they are blind to see that they are the reason she took her life. Her parents continue to ignore Leelah’s final wishes and seem to have no intentions of accepting their daughter. Her parents are to blame and I stand behind that theory. If they had only opened their hearts and loved their CHILD as they should as her fucking parents, she could still be alive and, most importantly, HAPPY.

leelah_alcorn_kym
courtesy of abc.news

Rest In Peace, you sweet, beautiful angel. We will all remember you as Leelah.

To anyone who is stuck and feels like there is no hope, feels like there is nothing to live for, feels like no one understands them, it does get better. You have people who care. Leelah’s support system should have started at home because no matter how close of friends you have, home is where you go after school, after work to be comforted. Please, don’t give up.

“My death needs to mean something. My death needs to be counted in the number of transgender people who commit suicide this year. I want someone to look at that number and say “that’s fucked up” and fix it. Fix society. Please.”
– Leelah Alcorn

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