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What I would tell my younger self 10 years ago

If someone told me, at 21, that at 31, I would be married to someone completely different, with no kids, and living in Puerto Rico with two dogs, I would have said… BITCH, YEAH RIGHT!

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Ah, so young and full of hope and, yet, so stupid

#FlashBackFriday
2008 was the year I regretted piercing my tongue, wore my studded belt with every outfit, and was in the middle of frying my hair with my straightener and dye jobs. My college dorm was my “residency” and I somehow managed to balance my grades, partying, and a long term relationship. Often, I was asked what I planned on doing with my life and I never had a solid answer. I didn’t exactly have a path to follow so I latched on to someone else’s idea of what sort of life plan I had for myself.

Growing up the younger of two, the only daughter, and in a traditional Latin home, I wasn’t exactly given too many choices or options of what I wanted to do with myself. School, however, was never up for debate – I had to go, like it or not. College was absolutely amazing but, at the time, I wasn’t living for myself. It wasn’t until 2009 that life kicked me in my lady balls and showed me I had to do something with my life but in 2008? I was lost. I was lost in this pressure of finding out what I wanted to do; will I marry him? Will I start a family? Will I be a working mom? Why am I in college? I had no guide to help me through these decisions.

So, if I could go back in time 10 years ago, here are a few things I would let Allison (no one called me Ally yet) know.

  1. No, I didn’t bring anything back from the future, so, you’re just going to have to believe me.
  2. You will find your calling in school, just not at this very moment. You will need to be alone to figure out what drives you and what makes you happy. Don’t give up on school. This will be your security.
  3. Yes, your brother marries her. Their love will open a part of your heart you didn’t know existed and your nephew, Damian, will draw out emotions you thought you’d never feel for a human being. You will understand what “fighting for your life” really means and how delicate life can be but Damian will also teach you how strong someone can be, no matter their size.
     

  4. That nervous tick you have with shaking your leg is going to be a sign of anxiety. You won’t get diagnosed until about 7 years later. It’s going to suck and you’ll cry because you won’t fully understand why it happens or what is triggering it. I’m still trying to figure it out so just be patient. Not everyone will understand and while some will try to “out do” your pain, there will be others who will empathize and help you.
  5. That piercing you have, you’re going to take it out and pierce it about two more times. The last time will be the least painful one and eventually, you’ll get bored of it and take it out every now and then. You’ll still have it at 31.

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    It’s all fun and games until you rip the hole or swallow the jewelry
  6. Don’t try so hard to hold on to people. Those who will make the effort to stay in your life, will. Jen will be one of those. She will go through life turmoils but will finally find her happy place. You’ll be lucky enough to meet her son, Orion, and be proud of the woman she has become all while reminiscing with her about the time you both shared a toilet to throw up in during a drunken night at Webster Hall.

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    Jen, thank you for all your spontaneous joy rides to 6 Flags and down the shore
  7. You’re going to go through your first heartbreak really soon and it’s going to hurt, bad, but it will be worth it. It will take a few years to get over the pain but you’ll reach a day when you can look back at Louie’s old pictures and say, “I’m okay.” I promise you, it will be for the best. Besides, your husband is much funnier, nicer, and he absolutely adores you.
  8. Stop being so hard on yourself. No one has their shit together. Have fun and screw what anyone thinks of you. You’re going to make mistakes but this is how you will learn.Follow up: there will be two apps where everyone will take pictures and videos to showcase their daily lives where they pretend to be happy; create and patent the apps Instgram and Snapchat. You’re welcome.
  9. Jessica will be your best college roommate. Trust me.
     

  10. Your best concert buddy is actually your brother and you will have a blast cockblocking him at concerts so go to as many as possible.

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    Enjoying In This Moment with my brother
  11. The love of your life will finally meet you in the perfect circumstance and take you to places you’ve never dreamed of seeing. He will also bring you two dogs that will love you unconditionally. In this relationship, you will learn you never really wanted kids to begin with.

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    D’aw!
  12. There will always be people that don’t like you and that’s OK. You don’t need to be their friend. You are going to keep meeting people you don’t like for whatever reason as well. That’s just life; you can’t win everyone over.
  13. Not only will you get a job, you will graduate, get a better job, and you’ll buy your own car with money you’ve saved without needing a co-signer. It’ll be terrifying but worth it.

You’re never going to like wearing office clothes, you’ll still wear cartoons on your shirt, you’ll have blue hair, and you’ll still get excited about Sailor Moon. It looks like you’ll always be young at heart… or an idiot. Just enjoy the ride!

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Ways of getting around being homesick

Has anyone ever been homesick? I remember when I was about 18 years old, I had went to California to visit my brother for a month. Holy shit, by week 3, I was so homesick and actually missed my parents. Before you say, “well, you’re a baby, you’re supposed to miss them,” – no. I was 18 years old. I’m supposed to be happy to be away and the first two weeks were great but I really got home sick for my parents, their food, surrounding, comfortableness of home. Thankfully, my brother took me out so I wasn’t obsessing over how much I missed home. I didn’t get that feeling until I moved to another state least year. By that time, I was 27 years old. The first few weeks were, again, great because I had moved with my new hubby but then he left. He had to go underway and I was alone. I had never been all alone for such a long period of time in my entire life. I had dormed in college but I always had a room mate. I learned very quickly, I needed to adjust and keep myself occupied.

Below are some activities that I have done to help me cope with being homesick. Enjoy!

1. NETFLIX! I’ll talk about the fucking gym later on. We all know Netflix is good for the body and soul, too! Get into a show that is going to keep you busy and entertained. I decided on the Gilmore Girls because it has so many seasons, Army Wives, Sons of Anarchy, Pretty Little Liars. Shows with over 3 seasons will be your best friend – especially if you’re away at college… that is, when you finally take the nozzle of the beer you’ve been funneling out of your mouth!09e
courtesy of knowyourmeme.com

note: RESIST watching the seasons in a weekend time. You will burn through your shows, be depressed when they end, and be at square one again.

2. Get a hobby. I hate when people say that to me. I feel like the girls I know don’t really have many hobbies. Please spare me, hiking, gym, running as hobbies – shoot yourselves. I’m addressing this to the “normal” cupcake eating, occasional jogging to show off your new leggings, “I’ll start this diet Monday” girls. I actually found my hobby (if you can call it that) and that is cosplaying. Once I get into a project, THAT IS IT. I devote a lot of time to the character I am creating. What makes this particular hobby fun and time consuming is the way I make the costumes. I normally do a “rough draft” as practice to see if I can work with the first thing I made or if I need to tweak it or start from scratch by using another method. Cosplaying is a lot of work and can drain some money. I just started this hobby so I am not savvy on buying cheap but good material yet.
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courtesy of memegenerator.com

3. Plants. This might sound crazy but it took me years to enjoy the presence of plants. We have a little jalepno plant in our apartment that is about 2 years old now. I want to actually grow my own veggies, herbs, and fruits one day. You can start off with one plant (no cactus, put some effort into this) and do some research on how to care for it. You’ll be surprised how much you can learn about plants…
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courtesy of memecenter..com

Keep building your own little garden (if the weather you live in permits). This will give you a daily routine. When my husband is away, I would wake up, take our puppy out to pee, come back in, make coffee, brush my teeth, water the plant, check how it’s doing, and count down the calendar. It will not only give your place life but it will also give you a sense of accomplishment of being able to keep something other than yourself alive.

4. Already have a plant in process? Try a pet (if you can afford or are allowed to have one in your facility). Believe me, these little fur babies WILL keep you busy all day long. You’ll be even busier if you get a puppy! Please refer to my previous post about adopting a puppy. I fucking love my Potato… anyway!  These guys will keep you so busy you won’t have time to be homesick unless you have never taken care of animal by yourself. In that case, you may have a total meltdown from the pressure of having to keep a living, breathing, walking creature alive and if you fail, no one will love you because who would love a puppy killer?…………………………………….

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Moving on =D

Please be certain you have the time, patience, money, and love to care for an animal. Just because you have love for them, doesn’t mean you have the rest of the qualities to care for one.

5. Gym. If all the other tips fail or begin to prove signs that you’re repressing emotions, give this a shot. This was also part of my routine but I am in no means in shape.
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courtesy of pixshark.com

I strictly used the gym to fill up time and keep me occupied. I basically went to pass the time but when I was in there, whether I was running, lifting, or anything else, my mind was focused on what I was doing. I don’t need to lose concentration and get hurt for the security cameras to record and later make fun of me. Nothing is on my mind except what I am doing at that moment and, of course, my breathing.

6. Get a job or join a club. I hate group activities, which is why I put this last.
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courtesy of memecenter.com

If you have a job that keeps you busy, you should be okay. If you don’t have a job and you’re a social butterfly, try joining a club or volunteer your time (for those who can’t afford paying a monthly fee for a club due to no job!). Again, this will keep your mind focused and really force you to be independent.

There you go, if you have made it this far, thank you for reading and thank you for understanding my sarcasm. Being homesick sucks and I still get it time to time but I do all of these things that keep me from going fucking insane.

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