Cory_x_Shawn
Get you a friendship like Cory and Shawn

Throughout life, you will meet hundreds of people, maybe thousands – no, MILLIONS! I don’t know your life but I don’t think I’ve met millions but that is because I enjoy being a hermit. Can we say FOMO? Is that right? Did I use that right? Oh, you kids and your new lingo…! 🙂

Anyway! Throughout your life, you will meet a substantial amount of people and some of those encounters will blossom into friendships, even life long friendships. Like regular people, these friendships may not feel the same. You may even find yourself putting them into categories because it is 2018 and we need to categorize everything or else OUR WORLD IS OUT OF ORDER. Here are the type of friends you’ll have.

  1. The Distance Friend
    You know which ones these are. It’s the friend that had to move away (or you moved away). You say, “We’ll keep in touch,” but never do, however, sometimes, we do meet amazing people that are worth staying in touch with. You text all the time, FaceTime, Facebook video chat each other to keep the other person involved in your life. You don’t go too many days without hearing from them. These friends normally tend to cherish the friendship. These are the best people.
  2. The Frenemy… Friend…?
    These toxic ass people need to be left where they festered from – middle school or high school. Frenemy (friends that are enemies) are never good people, in fact, they can be very damaging to your self esteem if you allow them to be. Whenever something terrible happens, they relish on it; whenever something positive happens to you, they rain on your parade. Why do they exist? I don’t know. Why are you friends with them? I don’t know but you will reach an age where you’ll just end the connection and realize you don’t need that negativity in your life.

    Sandi_Quinn_ohDEAR
    Anyone catch this reference?
  3. The Time Invested Friend
    The Throw Back Friend, the friend you have scandalous pictures of before there were phones and social media readily available. This is the one you had met when you couldn’t even spell your name correctly. I have two who fit this criteria: one whose parents were friends with my parents and the other who I learned how to write the alphabet with. You can’t let go of these friends because not only do they have a SHIT ton of dirt on you but these were the ones who know the real you, not the Instagram lie you lead.
  4. The Spouse Friend
    Surprisingly enough, you’d be shocked how many married couples do not see their spouse as their friend, just a person they ended up marrying. Go ahead, ask some of your parents and if they say they are besties, REALLY watch their interactions, you’ll be questioning love forever. It took me years to see my husband as someone I can confide in, not just as a spouse but as a friend who has been there for me as a human being because they chose to – not out of marital obligation.
  5. The Down Ass Friend
    You can depend on this person to always lift your spirits and bring out the best of you. They are always down to hang out in any situation and have a good time! Whether it’s just having a drink or going out somewhere new. They won’t tear you down and they will remind you how awesome you are.

    giphy
    Where my Broad City girls at?!
  6. The One That Got Away Friend
    When a friendship ends, it’s never a fun time and it’s worse when there was a lot of time invested. I know I had said earlier how you need to keep these people in your life but, sometimes, the friendship may not be worth saving. At some point, I had to cut a friend loose because I felt it was very one sided despite knowing each other for years. It hurt but I also knew it wasn’t genuine.  We either both put in effort or kick rocks!
  7. The Cat Pee Friend
    This is what I call the “Jealous” friend. These are people who only make plans with one person and then get upset when that said person hangs out with others. I refer to them as Cat Pee because they will mark their scent on someone as if to say, “This person is MY FRIEND, MINE. YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO HANG OUT WITH THIS PERSON.” Lord forbid Jealous finds out their friend spent time with someone else “behind their back”. I have met a few people like this and there is a reason I don’t hang out with them. I don’t need them to post pictures or updates whenever we are together. Just be friends, dude, don’t show me off like a pawn to make people jealous. Unless it’s Ryan Reynolds, then PLEASE TAKE PICTURES OF US TOGETHER!

    ryan
    Deadpool as Ryan Reynolds
  8. The Chill At Home Friend
    This is my type of friend. The one you are comfortable enough with to just walk into their home, take a blanket and just cuddle up on the couch for either movies, shows, chit chat, what have you. You don’t feel pressure to do anything and can literally spend all day there without doing much and just enjoy their company (vice versa). Ya’ll would rather lounge about than go out to bars. *UVA, anyone?

    img_4331
    That WAS my bed until she took over it with her pups!

There you have it! How many of these friends do you have? Cut that frenemy off! Just like pineapples on pizza, they are just out for a terrible time and ruin everything around you… I STAND BY MY CHOICE.

 

 

*UVA is like the Uber Eats in Puerto Rico 😀