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I spent $100.00 in Barnes & Noble

The first book I had ever read for leisure was Go Ask Alice by Beatrice Sparks. It was *written in a diary form of a teenage girl who spiraled out of control with drugs. You know how the story goes (personally, for some than others), naive young girl dips her toe in drugs and suddenly finds herself as a runaway addicted to drugs. If you Google this book, you’ll most likely find mixed reviews but, in my personal opinion that no one asked for, I thoroughly enjoyed the book enough to reread it several, SEVERAL times. Big S/O to my older brother who introduced this book to me after never returning it to his school’s library!

How I spent over $100.00 in books
To be honest, I don’t think spending $100 in a bookstore is unreasonable. I had bought myself about three books and five for my husband. He’s into Warhammer and I wanted to explore other genres besides the young adult shelf. I was obsessed with all books produced by Beatrice Sparks. They all had the same theme: teenagers going through adult struggles in either drugs, sex, eating disorders, or even all the above. My interest in these teen books have lessened so I was in the market for new books with a new flare. I did my research and decided I wanted to check out Buffering by Hannah Hart, The Last Living Slut by Roxana Shirayl, & Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh. Originally, I also had Mamrie Hart’s You Deserve a Drink but once I researched it, it didn’t really catch my attention ūüė¶

I love YouTube and I can get sucked into a YouTube hole VERY EASILY. One of my favorite YouTubers is the creator of My Drunk Kitchen, Hannah Hart(Jenna Marbles, you still my KWUEEN!) and I wanted to get to know her a little better, well, as much as I can in written form. I was curious about how she became the sensational web star she has rightfully become. Imagine my surprise when I learned she wanted to be a writer at first!

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I have this book, too!

Throughout my time reading Buffering, I couldn’t stop imagining her scenery. I kept envisioning her having those panic attacks she bravely wrote about as she was stuck in a moment and couldn’t move so she had no choice but to memorize what was around her which lead to her perfectly described imagery. My love for Hart grew page after page. I couldn’t put the book down and whenever I did, I wanted to pick it back up. Once I finished the book, I felt a sense of comfort knowing other people understand my anxiety and what it’s like to have all these thoughts in your head and being powerless to turn them off. Thanx, Hannah, for making me feel less like a three headed monster.

Because I was excited to read my new books, I decided to read all three at the same time. I would peel myself from Buffering and move on to Hyperbole and a Half. While the images are amusingly drawn out and the easy-to-read format is a breeze to get through, it couldn’t hook me. For whatever reason, once I would read¬†Buffering¬†or¬†The Last Living Slut,¬†my mood would be altered and I couldn’t get into sync with this book’s voice.


In one chapter, Allie Brosh tries to explain how she discovered her dog was dumb – for lack of better words, on my behalf. It was like speaking to an optimistic friend (after reading¬†Buffering) and suddenly going to a gloomy, glass half empty person. Normally, I’m a heavily sarcastic person, a pessimist even, but this book was bringing me down. I’ll try to give it another shot soon because the images are pleasing and as much as I’m not in favor of how the words and illustrations intertwine together, I feel as though I need to give it another chance. This book deserves to be read!

The Last Living Slut… holy shit. This book is not for the faint of heart. Roxana was born in Iran during Shah Mohammad Reza Pahlavi. As oppressed as her society was (and still is), she was just as rebellious and defiant. She tells her stories of promiscuity with rock bands. While some women may view her as our downfall and a regular groupie, I can’t help but envy the way she lays out her sex for all to see. There are a few moments where it sounds like she is insecure by the way she judges the “new age” groupies.
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To be fair, she really isn’t a groupie. She forms bonds with some bands and becomes almost family. She doesn’t always do the “wham, bam, thank you, ma’am”, in fact, she does write about moments where she played “mom” and took care of certain bands that she had developed a deeper connection with. Sure, sex is great, sex with rock stars? Even better! But to be able to fuck your idol and have meaningful, significant conversations about love, life, and the world is something not most people can be lucky to experience (I am reserving that experience for M. Shadows!)

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M. Shadows! Thanx LoudWire!

I do intend of finishing¬†Hyperbole and A Half and give it a better judgement. Maybe it’s just one of those books you can’t really throw into a rotating mix.

 

*Sparks may have written all those books in that series herself. Long story. Look it up!

My lonely Valentines

Military spouses are no strangers to being alone on important holidays and I can understand why they would dread spending today alone. After all, you are surrounded by pink and red colors, the word “love” splashed everywhere, and happy couples while you only have Netflix to depend on.

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Yes.

Where did this sappy holiday come from?
Lemme school you on where this joyous holiday came from. St. Valentine was a Christian priest who literally died for love. He found it unfair for Emperor Claudius II to ban engagements and weddings for the sake of having more soldiers. Claudius was pretty much a dick because he got into so many wars that he was running out of soldiers and lovers did not want to leave their families to fight Claudius’ battles. On top of being a fan of war, he didn’t really treat his people fairly so it is understandable why no one wanted to fight for him anymore. St. Valentine was not having any of Claudius’ shit and believed love should never be banned or prohibited (are you listening, you Judgey Judies?), so, he secretly began marrying couples. When he was outed, he was sent to prison and was put to death but not before confessing his love to a blind girl. How did he do this? No, not with a pen, but with ink squeezed from violets. That’s right, he wrote her a sonnet composed of ink squeezed from violets. Sadly, he was still put to death the next day. Valentine’s day is celebrated on February 14 because it is believed lovebirds, doves, and owls began to mate that day after the Catholic Church granted him Sainthood.

Now that you know the history of why we celebrate this day, I can admit that I’ve never been one to celebrate this holiday. After learning about the saint, I can absolutely respect the day and the man but I just don’t expect my husband to give me gifts because it’s just another day. Plus it has become sooo commercialized, I mean, c’mon, before you read this, did you know who Saint Valentine was and why he is honored? No, because HE isn’t honored, per se, the action of love, what he died for, is celebrated. With that being said, does it change your perspective on today?

Still a V-day Grinch? Celebrate the other “holidays” that are on February¬†14!
This love and sex filled date is also shared with Library Lovers’ Day (Australia), International Book Giving day, National Cream Filled Chocolate day, and Quirkyalone Day. No one said you couldn’t acknowledge any other event going on in the world so here are a few things you can try and do today besides wallow in your emotions.

  1. Be a fun parent if your spouse is deployed. Have the kids make some sort of arts and craft gift for their parent so when they do come back, they’ll have piles of cards and gifts. Plus, it’ll keep the kids busy and your mind occupied.
  2. Love isn’t just for marriages and relationships. Go visit a children’s hospital, bring them Valentine Cards or even little snacks. They can always use new visitors and it’ll be a nice feeling for them to be acknowledged by someone besides their parents.
  3. Pamper yourself. This doesn’t just go for women, I’m sure there are “Me” things husbands can do to make themselves feel good. Ladies, get dolled up for yourselves, make yourselves a HAPPY dinner, not a sad, woo is me, dinner-for-one meals.
  4. While you’re all sexified, take a few pictures or even videos for your boo thing and send them to their phone or have a photo shoot printed out so when they return home, they have an extra goodie.
  5. Buy cream filled chocolates! You don’t have to share with ANYONE!
  6. Don’t be bitter. Just because your spouse is away absolutely does not give you a free bitter card. Don’t be jealous or say the famous “Must be nice…” phrase to other couples. You don’t know how many other meaningful days they had to spend away from each other nor do you know their struggles. Don’t rain on their parade.

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    Don’t be shitty.
  7. If you’re a military spouse, invite some other spouses whose S/O are away. Bring out the board games, snacks, PJ’s, or dress up! Something lively so you don’t end the night on a sad, tearful note.
  8. Do what YOU want to do. Reread an amazing book or watch trashy TV. Dive into something you love to indulge in that you normally wouldn’t be able to do with your spouse around (*ahem* KUWTK).

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