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I spent $100.00 in Barnes & Noble

The first book I had ever read for leisure was Go Ask Alice by Beatrice Sparks. It was *written in a diary form of a teenage girl who spiraled out of control with drugs. You know how the story goes (personally, for some than others), naive young girl dips her toe in drugs and suddenly finds herself as a runaway addicted to drugs. If you Google this book, you’ll most likely find mixed reviews but, in my personal opinion that no one asked for, I thoroughly enjoyed the book enough to reread it several, SEVERAL times. Big S/O to my older brother who introduced this book to me after never returning it to his school’s library!

How I spent over $100.00 in books
To be honest, I don’t think spending $100 in a bookstore is unreasonable. I had bought myself about three books and five for my husband. He’s into Warhammer and I wanted to explore other genres besides the young adult shelf. I was obsessed with all books produced by Beatrice Sparks. They all had the same theme: teenagers going through adult struggles in either drugs, sex, eating disorders, or even all the above. My interest in these teen books have lessened so I was in the market for new books with a new flare. I did my research and decided I wanted to check out Buffering by Hannah Hart, The Last Living Slut by Roxana Shirayl, & Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh. Originally, I also had Mamrie Hart’s You Deserve a Drink but once I researched it, it didn’t really catch my attention 😦

I love YouTube and I can get sucked into a YouTube hole VERY EASILY. One of my favorite YouTubers is the creator of My Drunk KitchenHannah Hart(Jenna Marbles, you still my KWUEEN!) and I wanted to get to know her a little better, well, as much as I can in written form. I was curious about how she became the sensational web star she has rightfully become. Imagine my surprise when I learned she wanted to be a writer at first!

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I have this book, too!

Throughout my time reading Buffering, I couldn’t stop imagining her scenery. I kept envisioning her having those panic attacks she bravely wrote about as she was stuck in a moment and couldn’t move so she had no choice but to memorize what was around her which lead to her perfectly described imagery. My love for Hart grew page after page. I couldn’t put the book down and whenever I did, I wanted to pick it back up. Once I finished the book, I felt a sense of comfort knowing other people understand my anxiety and what it’s like to have all these thoughts in your head and being powerless to turn them off. Thanx, Hannah, for making me feel less like a three headed monster.

Because I was excited to read my new books, I decided to read all three at the same time. I would peel myself from Buffering and move on to Hyperbole and a Half. While the images are amusingly drawn out and the easy-to-read format is a breeze to get through, it couldn’t hook me. For whatever reason, once I would read Buffering or The Last Living Slut, my mood would be altered and I couldn’t get into sync with this book’s voice.


In one chapter, Allie Brosh tries to explain how she discovered her dog was dumb – for lack of better words, on my behalf. It was like speaking to an optimistic friend (after reading Buffering) and suddenly going to a gloomy, glass half empty person. Normally, I’m a heavily sarcastic person, a pessimist even, but this book was bringing me down. I’ll try to give it another shot soon because the images are pleasing and as much as I’m not in favor of how the words and illustrations intertwine together, I feel as though I need to give it another chance. This book deserves to be read!

The Last Living Slut… holy shit. This book is not for the faint of heart. Roxana was born in Iran during Shah Mohammad Reza Pahlavi. As oppressed as her society was (and still is), she was just as rebellious and defiant. She tells her stories of promiscuity with rock bands. While some women may view her as our downfall and a regular groupie, I can’t help but envy the way she lays out her sex for all to see. There are a few moments where it sounds like she is insecure by the way she judges the “new age” groupies.
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To be fair, she really isn’t a groupie. She forms bonds with some bands and becomes almost family. She doesn’t always do the “wham, bam, thank you, ma’am”, in fact, she does write about moments where she played “mom” and took care of certain bands that she had developed a deeper connection with. Sure, sex is great, sex with rock stars? Even better! But to be able to fuck your idol and have meaningful, significant conversations about love, life, and the world is something not most people can be lucky to experience (I am reserving that experience for M. Shadows!)

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M. Shadows! Thanx LoudWire!

I do intend of finishing Hyperbole and A Half and give it a better judgement. Maybe it’s just one of those books you can’t really throw into a rotating mix.

 

*Sparks may have written all those books in that series herself. Long story. Look it up!

Is Bragging About Sex In Bad Taste?

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine who has recently started having sex and he mentioned how he used to brag about it to several people. His girlfriend was less than thrilled about him sharing their intimate moments with others. I figured he would eventually calm the hell down and realize, dude, it’s just sex.

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How much do guys brag about sex? 
After doing some research, Bustle had an article about a similar topic. They turned to Reddit to see just how much guys really do talk sex with “the guys.” To my shock, my husband’s responses have been true: guys normally don’t talk about sex as often as women assume they do. In fact, Penn State conducted a study in 2002 and discovered that women were more likely to talk about their sexual encounters than men and women were more open about the dirty details. Men mostly talk about masturbation (of course lol) while women shied away from that topic. In case you don’t think 2002 facts are current enough, here is the Bustle article where they showed the Reddit answers about men bragging.

The truth behind the theory
After reading this, I started thinking about how true this theory could be. I have a good amount of male and female friends (and acquaintances) and I’ve noticed, the women were more open than guys were about sex. The guys never really shared anything unless I specifically asked, furthermore, men never went into details. Maybe it’s weird to talk about the shameful acts they have done to a girl with another girl or maybe it’s a guy code to only speak with other guys, but my hubby has definitely confirmed this. I have always asked him what him and his boys (back home) spoke about and he would always deny talking about sex or girls, unless it was a relationship with a girl. Even then, relationship talks were kept to a minimum, after all, guys’ night was just about guys, not girl talk. In a nutshell, ladies, we were wrong to accuse men obsessing over us.

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Do women really enjoy being bragged about? Yes and no.
After asking a few women, single, married, or in serious relationships, if they would mind their hubbies bragging about their sex life, their answers were surprising. All of them said, they would not mind at all, some even would encourage it but when asked if the people their hubbies were bragging to were women, it did not fly. While a few still had no problem with this, majority did not feel the same way. Nancy, 24, said, “I don’t think other women need to know my husband’s sex life.” Lola, 29, replied, “That would not sit well with me,” she added, “I wouldn’t want [her partner] talking to them about our sexual life.” Jenn, 27, said “Heck, no, he shouldn’t be talking to any female like that.” Debbie, 28, said she would have questions, “How did the topic of what your wife does in bed come up? What was the conversation leading up to that?” When you think about it, you have to question why is the topic of sex even on the table with any woman besides your own?

So who does brag?
According to the Examiner, some people who do brag (women are included), could be doing so to build their self confidence. They will also find any way possible to incorporate their means of bragging in any situation – appropriate or not. Along with boosting their self esteem up, those who do brag could be narcissists. Jami McDonald, life coach and hypnotherapist explains, “In their mind they are boosting their egos, encouraging their own vanity, and irritating others with selfish behaviors,” adding “It could definitely fall under narcissist tendencies, but do they really get anything fictitious sex stories?”

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Another male source who commented via Examiner said, “I personally don’t think anyone brings that topic up, professional setting or not, without the intent of trying to get in someone’s pants, at some point, anyway. We are men after all.” Ironically, this quote ties up with what Debbie mentioned earlier: the need to question why sex was ever the topic of conversation. Is that to assume sex is on the table as well?

Bottom line: Don’t kiss and tell
Think about your partner’s feelings before you go on an ego trip. What you may think is something to brag about, she considers private and intimate. If someone asks you an intimate question, make sure your partner is okay with you sharing the answer. Respect your better half’s requests and put yourself in their shoes but when it doubt, just heed Examiner‘s advice, “It just isn’t ever a good idea to brag about sexual conquests with the opposite sex. In most situations, it’s just tacky.”

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What I Have Learned In My First Year Of Marriage

Hello my little buttercups! September 15 marked my one year anniversary and, boy, have I learned a lot! People always tell me two things: The first year is always the hardest or the first year is always the easiest. Now, I think because we spent the majority of our first year apart (Thanks U.S.C.G! hmph!), we grew closer and our love for each other really blossomed. That is not to say I don’t know what I am talking about when it comes to marriage because when he was home, I had a role to play. Here is what I have learned in my first year of marriage!

  1. You can’t change someone but you can improve them
    My husband cannot clean a dish to save his life but if I need him to run to the store and buy me tampons, you better believe he will come back with Playtex Sport Super & Regular Unscented. He also enjoys collecting old things. Whether or not they work is irrelevant, he just likes old things. Right before we moved, I was able to convince him to either throw away or donate items he hadn’t touched or will never use. I would say I “changed” him but then he brought home this
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    A 76mm shell -.-. I am not allowed to toss it because he got his shipmates to sign them. Tricky bastard.
  2. Your spouse will become your best friend
    When we just moved from NJ to MA, we had to stay at a military hotel then when he finally got us our apartment, we had no cable or internet. From that moment on, we developed a very comfortable way of spending time together. We would talk about politics, religion, comedy, nature, pretty much anything and everything and we got in deep! If we were upset over something, we would go to each other. We would depend on the other to lift our spirits. We learned how to have fun with each other and not take ourselves too seriously.
  3. It’s good to have your own hobbies
    My hubby loves his online gaming. If he’s not online gaming, he’s at the comic book store, hiking with our Potato, or whatever the hell he did in his side of the apartment. When he was doing any of these, I would have to be doing something to entertain myself. I like cooking, working on cosplays, writing, dreaming of being a Suicide Girl (I do the last one when he’s not around). It’s good to have your own thing and it took me months to figure out my hobbies.
  4. Not everyone will agree with your lifestyle
    Call me old fashion but I like catering to him at his every whim. I do it so often that even he had to stop me and remind me that he’s “no king.” But the two things he failed to realize was 1) I was raised to always cater to my husband and 2) I treat him like a king because he treats me like a queen. I enjoy cooking for him, cleaning up after him, rubbing his back, scratching his head, doing his laundry, I love all that shit and I know he appreciates it.
  5. He is your husband, not your boyfriend
    If we had a fight, I couldn’t  just walk out, erase his number, and move on. I couldn’t hang up the phone and ignore him for days. We saw each other every day, every night (when he wasn’t always). He wasn’t a boyfriend I could dump whenever he pissed me off. We had to work through things or agree to disagree. There were times we both didn’t say a word to each other and stayed in opposite sides of the apartment but it was best because it gave us time to cool off.
  6. You can say ‘No’
    “Wanna have sex?”
    “No.”
    “Ok.”
    😦
  7. Co-dependency is a slippery slope
    I admit it, I became co-dependent on him sometimes. ‘Christian, can you drive,’ ‘Christian, can you pick up food,’ ‘Christian, can you come with me here, here, and here?’ But when he was away, holy hell, did I had to become independent FAST. This is when I also learned I had my own hobbies as well. When he came back, we naturally enjoyed hanging out with each other, especially since we didn’t know anyone else who lived close by to hang out with.
  8. Don’t hold on to arguments
    No one enjoys giving in to fights or admitting they are wrong but sometimes, you just have to do it, not just to keep the peace but because it’s good to forgive. I often try to keep from saying hurtful things but if I do happen to slip, I know when I have to apologize and make it right. His way of forgiving and moving on is tackling me down, tickling me, and smothering me with kisses while I thrash around like a cat wrapped up in a towel fighting off love.
  9. You will come to terms with each other’s habits
    He likes to groom himself and keep his uni-brow under control while I spot treat blemishes throughout the night and take forever washing my hair. These are just part of ourselves that we never really shared with other people because, well, we’ve never lived with anyone else to this capacity before. One thing I have to say is, THANK GOODNESS for two bathrooms!
  10. You should have two rooms
    Speaking of multiple rooms, as much as I love and adore my husband, it was great to have our bedroom and his man cave. Of course, we had the common areas which were the kitchen and living room but having that second room just for him and his things really worked well for us. Before we lived in this spacious apartment, we lived in a tiny one bedroom apartment which was cluttered in mainly his old man things. Two bedrooms were accommodating because it gave both of us a chance to spend time apart so he could play his on line games in peace while I watched my guilty pleasure, Love & HipHop. Plus, when we were in a “I’m not speaking to you” mood, we had our separate corners to hide in.
  11. Remember, you’re married now
    It took some adjusting but sometimes we had to remind ourselves – or each other – we are now married, so certain things needed to change. I could no longer have guys texting me throughout the night because it was disrespectful to my husband. This wasn’t his choice, this was my personal choice because I wouldn’t like any of his skanky fan club members to hit him up in the evening either. He also had to learn certain things were not kosher to say to other women because how it could be taken out of context.

You da man, my love!

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If you’ve been married longer than a year, what have you learned? Please, Like, Share, & Comment below! 😀

Kids These Days: Sex Education

If you read my last post you’d remember how I said I’d never want a sister. It’s true but for good reasons. I’d hate an older sister simply because I know it would be competition. There are already favorites in our family. My brother is a momma’s boy, he can do no wrong in under my mom’s eyes and, naturally, I am a daddy’s girl. My dad would NEVER yell at me and even when he’s frustrated or upset, he still calls me “mija” o “mijita” 😀 If I had an older sister, I’d hate her. I’d have to live up to her standards. Now, a little sister is just scary. I can’t stand little teenagers now.

When I was visiting my parents a few months ago, my mom and I went to Dunkin Donuts. We decided to just sit at a table as we enjoyed our coffees. Behind us was a table of 7 or 8 annoying high school girls, actually, wait, no, they were mainly 11 year olds and one 12 year old. How do I know this? Because in the chaos of them screaming non sense (they were at the same table, inches apart…) to each other, one girl shouted, “I’m not 11! I’m 12! I’m older than all of you!” They were on their phones, tablets, just passing time and being obnoxiously loud. I was telling my mom, “I cannot believe how annoying they are,” to which she replied, “You were like that, too.”

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courtesy of knowyourmeme.com

Yes, I was loud back then, give me half a six pack & I’ll channel my inner 12 year old all over again but I was, under no circumstances, like that. At 11 or 12 years old, FUCK NO WAS I ALLOWED TO HANG OUT AT A FUCKING DUNKIN DONUTS AFTER SCHOOL! No, I didn’t have a cell phone. No, I was not allowed to hang out with friends. I was to get my ass the fuck home. My shit school let out at 2:15, I had better been home by 2:40 because my school was down the block from me. Not only that, I was to call and report in with my aunt or my mom would call the house to make sure I made it safely home. GOD FORBID, I didn’t answer that call. She’d spam call the house line until I answered and then the 20 question game commenced. “Where were you?” “Why didn’t you answer?” “You went to the bathroom? What did you do in there?” “Why did it take you long to pick up?”

My mom’s biggest fear was me getting knocked up young (joke’s on you, mom. I’m pushing 30 and you may never have a grandchild from me!). Sex wasn’t thrown at kids my age at that time. Sure, when I was in 7th grade, the 8th girls were always making out, letting boys touch their bits, and they were sure as hell proud of it. I can’t imagine how proud their parents must have felt, too!

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courtesy of knowyourmeme.com

Now, sex is everywhere!

Everyone knows I have a very big potty mouth. I rarely use censorship when I speak or make jokes. Most of my jokes are raunchy. My husband rarely swears. I get my period more often than he uses foul language. I do take it down a few notches when I’m around a younger audience (or around my in laws, of course). I had went to visit one of my cousins at some point (I rather keep this story vague to protect my cousin’s identity and from her parents killing her) and she had to have been around 15 years old. First day she asked about my birth control pills which snowballed later on into the “sex” conversation. What exactly do you tell a 15 year old?

I didn’t know what to do. I had not come prepared for this. In my mind she was either going to be in that state of mind where her V card was long gone or still interested in My Little Ponies, or whatever girls are into at this age now. I was not prepared to answer these questions. I didn’t want to lie to her but I also didn’t want to tell her the generic answers that don’t really answer her questions. When I was younger, I was told the basics: “Your virginity is a gift,” “You’re going to bleed a LOT,” “It’s the most precious thing you have,” “Wait until you’re married,” “It is going to hurt REALLY bad.”

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courtesy of knowyourmeme.com

No one said, “It feels really good after the second time,” “Your emotions are going to go haywire,” “You may think you love him, but you won’t,” “You might not bleed,” “The semen is going to end up on your hair… that’s on top of your head.” How the fuck do you explain this to a 15 year old without traumatizing her?! So, I laid it down as gently as I could…SAID NO MAN, EVER!
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courtesy of knowyourmeme.com

“It might hurt,” “You might bleed,” “Make sure you’re ready,” “You’ll know when it’s time,” “You don’t have to wait for marriage.” I gave this kid the vaguest answers and I’d like to think I was pretty useless. I barely remember what my answers were exactly. It was kind of like one of those moments where you’re a deer caught in headlights and everything just moved really, really fast that you didn’t have time to process what the fuck went on… kind of like losing your virginity, actually lol Considering everything I had learned about my cousin, she really is a good kid and had a good head on her shoulders. She wasn’t going boy crazy, she conducted herself very well, I actually enjoyed hanging out with her because she simply was not annoying.

Truth is, it’s good I’m not a big sister because I’d be too terrified to have “the talk” with her. Although, I didn’t have older sisters, my brother had some girlfriends who I would confide in and ask them questions. Had I had a younger sister, I would have been scared she’d start sex way too early. At this age and time, kids as young as 4 have access to tablets. Now, I understand some parents may use those “Children friendly” blocks but this doesn’t stop them from seeing it in other people’s tablets, phones, laptops, etc. Kids aren’t even learning about sex at school anymore and what’s worse, you don’t see condom usage in movies, magazines, or even in most porn. Don’t get me started on porn! If kids are watching porn to “learn” about sex, they are so screwed because now, they will have unrealistic expectations on the opposite sex!

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Anyway, when you think about it, if they are learning about sex through movies, social media, and electronics, they aren’t being taught about birth control methods or STD prevention. Remember that steamy Mr. & Mrs. Smith fight scene that led to sex? Did you see condoms? No. What about The Jersey Shore, condoms? No (The only time I think condom usage was mentioned was when Mike had gotten oral sex from some random girl and FOUGHT his argument how he didn’t need a condom for that because “you can’t catch an STD through head”…). What about other rated 14 shows? Where sex is suggested? Condoms don’t really have any air time so this this can show kids how to LEAD UP TO SEX and just be completely unaware of safe sex part.

Parents should just be totally honest to both their daughters and sons. Tell them the good and bad, don’t sugar coat it to spare YOUR fears, they need to know about everything that will happen. I don’t believe shoving abstinence down their throats will be a good idea. I have met people who were taught abstinence and when they finally had (underage) sex believed they had gotten pregnant because 1. No condom and 2. A penis was inserted for 2 minutes (the guy didn’t finish at all). They really believed pregnancy happened the moment a penis touched the vag. Their parents had to meet and it was a total mess.

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courtesy of politeconversation.com
Yes, because this is healthy… obviously (please, note the sarcasm).

I think the best time for girls to learn about sex ed would be when they start their first period. Boys? I have no fucking clue. But hey, what do I know? I’m just a 28 year old with no kids…

In This Moment – Whore

In This Moment’s “Whore” finally premiered December 5th at midnight. If you thought “Adrenalize” was sexy, get ready to drop your pants and begin the action of FAPPING.

Frontwoman Maria Brinks is sporting a school girl outfit with a white corset in the beginning of the video and she tops off the sexified look with a dunce hat that spells out “WHORE”. Not only are the words themselves hot enough to adjust your suddenly tight collar, they can certainly start making your pants feel tighter as well, wink, wink!

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courtesy of Youtube.com

“I can be your whore. I am the dirt you created. I am the sinner, I am your whore.”

Who doesn’t want to hear you have power over someone?

Alas, it’s not entirely someone submitting to the hands of another.

According to Blabbermouth.net, “Whore” takes on a new meaning. Maria explains what this demeaning word means to her. She “created the term Women Honoring One Another Rising Eternally to give new meaning away from the derogatory connotation of the ‘whore’ word.”

Right on, chicka! 🙂

She continues defending this sleazy word whereas most girls (*ahem* feminists, I’m talking to you!) would be revolted at the sight. “The message behind this song is taking back control. It is about taking the power from a disgusting and degrading word and turning it back around on the accuser. It’s about self-empowerment, love, and liberation.”

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ourtesy of Youtube.com

Some people will be offended by this video while others will praise it. Hell yeah, I praise it! She oozes sex and she calls the shots! Call her a hooker or a whore all you want, at the end of the day, I believe the video was done tastefully, it has an extensive amount of sexiness, and at the end of the video the one who is really the whore is none other than Christ Motionless from Motionless In White!

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courtesy of Youtube.com

Hey, would you rather have this or Miley Cryus twerking her flat white girl ass? Step aside, Disney Princess, let a real woman show you how it’s done!

 

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