I was having a conversation with a friend of mine who has recently started having sex and he mentioned how he used to brag about it to several people. His girlfriend was less than thrilled about him sharing their intimate moments with others. I figured he would eventually calm the hell down and realize, dude, it’s just sex.
How much do guys brag about sex?
After doing some research, Bustle had an article about a similar topic. They turned to Reddit to see just how much guys really do talk sex with “the guys.” To my shock, my husband’s responses have been true: guys normally don’t talk about sex as often as women assume they do. In fact, Penn State conducted a study in 2002 and discovered that women were more likely to talk about their sexual encounters than men and women were more open about the dirty details. Men mostly talk about masturbation (of course lol) while women shied away from that topic. In case you don’t think 2002 facts are current enough, here is the Bustle article where they showed the Reddit answers about men bragging.
The truth behind the theory
After reading this, I started thinking about how true this theory could be. I have a good amount of male and female friends (and acquaintances) and I’ve noticed, the women were more open than guys were about sex. The guys never really shared anything unless I specifically asked, furthermore, men never went into details. Maybe it’s weird to talk about the shameful acts they have done to a girl with another girl or maybe it’s a guy code to only speak with other guys, but my hubby has definitely confirmed this. I have always asked him what him and his boys (back home) spoke about and he would always deny talking about sex or girls, unless it was a relationship with a girl. Even then, relationship talks were kept to a minimum, after all, guys’ night was just about guys, not girl talk. In a nutshell, ladies, we were wrong to accuse men obsessing over us.
Do women really enjoy being bragged about? Yes and no.
After asking a few women, single, married, or in serious relationships, if they would mind their hubbies bragging about their sex life, their answers were surprising. All of them said, they would not mind at all, some even would encourage it but when asked if the people their hubbies were bragging to were women, it did not fly. While a few still had no problem with this, majority did not feel the same way. Nancy, 24, said, “I don’t think other women need to know my husband’s sex life.” Lola, 29, replied, “That would not sit well with me,” she added, “I wouldn’t want [her partner] talking to them about our sexual life.” Jenn, 27, said “Heck, no, he shouldn’t be talking to any female like that.” Debbie, 28, said she would have questions, “How did the topic of what your wife does in bed come up? What was the conversation leading up to that?” When you think about it, you have to question why is the topic of sex even on the table with any woman besides your own?
So who does brag?
According to the Examiner, some people who do brag (women are included), could be doing so to build their self confidence. They will also find any way possible to incorporate their means of bragging in any situation – appropriate or not. Along with boosting their self esteem up, those who do brag could be narcissists. Jami McDonald, life coach and hypnotherapist explains, “In their mind they are boosting their egos, encouraging their own vanity, and irritating others with selfish behaviors,” adding “It could definitely fall under narcissist tendencies, but do they really get anything fictitious sex stories?”
Another male source who commented via Examiner said, “I personally don’t think anyone brings that topic up, professional setting or not, without the intent of trying to get in someone’s pants, at some point, anyway. We are men after all.” Ironically, this quote ties up with what Debbie mentioned earlier: the need to question why sex was ever the topic of conversation. Is that to assume sex is on the table as well?
Bottom line: Don’t kiss and tell
Think about your partner’s feelings before you go on an ego trip. What you may think is something to brag about, she considers private and intimate. If someone asks you an intimate question, make sure your partner is okay with you sharing the answer. Respect your better half’s requests and put yourself in their shoes but when it doubt, just heed Examiner‘s advice, “It just isn’t ever a good idea to brag about sexual conquests with the opposite sex. In most situations, it’s just tacky.”
Good post! Yes, most men do not talk about their sex lives with other guys. However, if the sex situation is bad, we do complain about that and make fun of our “bad” situation. And once you are married and have kids, all men assume that your sex life is dead. Then we talk about the good old days or current TV shows.
Thanx Kevin! That’s exactly what my husband said, too. They don’t really talk about it. Everything after marriage and kids I wouldn’t take it so harshly b/c I’m sure wives get together and complain about the same things 🙂 but thank you confirming as well.
Yup! I’m sure we do complain about the same things! If you ever need a source reference, keep me in mind!! (I can be the “old worthless advice blog guy”).