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I spent $100.00 in Barnes & Noble

The first book I had ever read for leisure was Go Ask Alice by Beatrice Sparks. It was *written in a diary form of a teenage girl who spiraled out of control with drugs. You know how the story goes (personally, for some than others), naive young girl dips her toe in drugs and suddenly finds herself as a runaway addicted to drugs. If you Google this book, you’ll most likely find mixed reviews but, in my personal opinion that no one asked for, I thoroughly enjoyed the book enough to reread it several, SEVERAL times. Big S/O to my older brother who introduced this book to me after never returning it to his school’s library!

How I spent over $100.00 in books
To be honest, I don’t think spending $100 in a bookstore is unreasonable. I had bought myself about three books and five for my husband. He’s into Warhammer and I wanted to explore other genres besides the young adult shelf. I was obsessed with all books produced by Beatrice Sparks. They all had the same theme: teenagers going through adult struggles in either drugs, sex, eating disorders, or even all the above. My interest in these teen books have lessened so I was in the market for new books with a new flare. I did my research and decided I wanted to check out Buffering by Hannah Hart, The Last Living Slut by Roxana Shirayl, & Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh. Originally, I also had Mamrie Hart’s You Deserve a Drink but once I researched it, it didn’t really catch my attention ūüė¶

I love YouTube and I can get sucked into a YouTube hole VERY EASILY. One of my favorite YouTubers is the creator of My Drunk Kitchen, Hannah Hart(Jenna Marbles, you still my KWUEEN!) and I wanted to get to know her a little better, well, as much as I can in written form. I was curious about how she became the sensational web star she has rightfully become. Imagine my surprise when I learned she wanted to be a writer at first!

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I have this book, too!

Throughout my time reading Buffering, I couldn’t stop imagining her scenery. I kept envisioning her having those panic attacks she bravely wrote about as she was stuck in a moment and couldn’t move so she had no choice but to memorize what was around her which lead to her perfectly described imagery. My love for Hart grew page after page. I couldn’t put the book down and whenever I did, I wanted to pick it back up. Once I finished the book, I felt a sense of comfort knowing other people understand my anxiety and what it’s like to have all these thoughts in your head and being powerless to turn them off. Thanx, Hannah, for making me feel less like a three headed monster.

Because I was excited to read my new books, I decided to read all three at the same time. I would peel myself from Buffering and move on to Hyperbole and a Half. While the images are amusingly drawn out and the easy-to-read format is a breeze to get through, it couldn’t hook me. For whatever reason, once I would read¬†Buffering¬†or¬†The Last Living Slut,¬†my mood would be altered and I couldn’t get into sync with this book’s voice.


In one chapter, Allie Brosh tries to explain how she discovered her dog was dumb – for lack of better words, on my behalf. It was like speaking to an optimistic friend (after reading¬†Buffering) and suddenly going to a gloomy, glass half empty person. Normally, I’m a heavily sarcastic person, a pessimist even, but this book was bringing me down. I’ll try to give it another shot soon because the images are pleasing and as much as I’m not in favor of how the words and illustrations intertwine together, I feel as though I need to give it another chance. This book deserves to be read!

The Last Living Slut… holy shit. This book is not for the faint of heart. Roxana was born in Iran during Shah Mohammad Reza Pahlavi. As oppressed as her society was (and still is), she was just as rebellious and defiant. She tells her stories of promiscuity with rock bands. While some women may view her as our downfall and a regular groupie, I can’t help but envy the way she lays out her sex for all to see. There are a few moments where it sounds like she is insecure by the way she judges the “new age” groupies.
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To be fair, she really isn’t a groupie. She forms bonds with some bands and becomes almost family. She doesn’t always do the “wham, bam, thank you, ma’am”, in fact, she does write about moments where she played “mom” and took care of certain bands that she had developed a deeper connection with. Sure, sex is great, sex with rock stars? Even better! But to be able to fuck your idol and have meaningful, significant conversations about love, life, and the world is something not most people can be lucky to experience (I am reserving that experience for M. Shadows!)

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M. Shadows! Thanx LoudWire!

I do intend of finishing¬†Hyperbole and A Half and give it a better judgement. Maybe it’s just one of those books you can’t really throw into a rotating mix.

 

*Sparks may have written all those books in that series herself. Long story. Look it up!

Who Loves a Good Groupie?

Urban Dictionary describes a groupie as “a young woman, often under age, who seeks to achieve status by having sex with rock musicians, roadies, securities, and other band-related guys.”

I must disagree. Coming from a has-been groupie waaaaaaaay back in the day, I think a groupie can be anyone from an under aged girl, under aged boy, full grown man (but that sounds kinda creepy. I just had a mental thought of a 43 year old man creeping on… Idk, who’s a popular female under aged pop star? Is Ariana Grande¬†really¬†above 21?), or even a MILF. A groupie to me is anyone who just likes to have a little fun with big, famous, pretty, money making, dick swinging, boobie popping musician – or musicians if you’re into the whole gang bang thing. I’ve never met a professional groupie (I just made that occupation up. They get paid!… in EXPERIENCES!) but I always wanted to. I’d have a few questions to ask them:

  1. How young were you when you started to become a groupie?
  2. How many musicians do you have under your belt?
  3. Who was your biggest accomplishment?
  4. Did you bring back a souvenir? ¬†STD’s are included in this question.
  5. What drives you to be a groupie?
  6. Can you be in a relationship as a groupie?
  7. Is there a national competition between groupies? Is it like cats? Once you nail a star, must you fend off the other groupies?
  8. How do you afford following musicians?
  9. Do you keep a journal of all your sexy adventures?
  10. If so, can I read it for my personal usage?

I think these are reasonable questions to ask a groupie. Could you imagine their life stories? I am going to buy Pamela Des Barres’¬†I’m with the Band: Confessions of a Groupie. My husband is deployed so this will become my version of the house wife’s porn book,¬†50 Shades of Grey.¬†It’ll just be me, my hormones, and M. Shadows. BABY MAKING THOUGHTS! M. Shadows, get me pregnant! My husband will understand! He can have Alyson Hannigan, we have an agreement. LET’S DO THIS!

I don’t find anything wrong with groupies. If you feel the need to make your stardom by laying as many musicians as you possibly can, then do your thing! However, for the sake of everyone else you sleep with, use condoms. Keep¬†on spreading those legs and swinging that penis! You are living the dream ūüėÄ

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