Most people know I am now a military wife. I literally married into that lifestyle because I married my husband right when he graduated bootcamp. I have no idea what it’s like to be a normal wife with a husband who comes home every day around the same time. I don’t know what it’s like to plan vacations. I probably will never know when it’s a good time to start having babies because I will become similar to a single mom – with a dog in the mix as well. I don’t know what it’s like to CHOOSE to ignore my husband’s phone calls or texts because he’s pissed me off for saying the “wrong thing”. On one hand, it’s an exciting life while on the other, it can be lonely. Stress is something that will always be there, especially if you were raised like I was: having everythin done for you. You learn to grow up fast and become an adult – whether you like it or not because bills will never stop.
A few nights ago I was on YouTube looking for something to listen to before I sleep. With my husband away, I wanted to soothe my emotions. I found one song called “When You Come Home” and it seems to be pretty popular since there are so many versions of it. I have no idea which is the original version. Holy hell, I just bawled my eyes out and it didn’t help that my Menzies is here so my hormones are running a RAMPAGE. I really enjoy the beginning because it’s a cadence and I love cadences. They actually really calm me down and, in fact, I make my husband sing me my favorite one “I Wonder” when I can’t sleep. They will always and instantly remind me of him. The chorus is honest and just so sad because it’s what every MILSO feels. When they come home, we’ll get our shit together, hide the fact we are just falling apart, remain calm despite money issues, and we become happy again when we see them.
The verses are a different story. Being a Coastie’s wife, I can happily say that I am luckier than most wives in the military life. For now, I don’t have to worry about him having being over seas. He mainly stays around U.S. waters but like others, he does have to go away for a couple of months, again, for now. I’m not sure what will be the longest trip. Regardless, he can be gone for a while, thankfully, not as long as other soldiers. The verses are rough to listen to because it’s a story from the wife’s point of view. She’s basically drowning. What I don’t like is that she sounds like she’s giving up, almost as if she blames him for the lifestyle. Maybe I’m still new to this or maybe I’m naive but I would never blame my husband for our changes and I try to keep my troubles away from our communication through texts, e-mails, phones, and Skype. Again, I may just be new at this and I’ll some day reach that feeling of giving up and then realize why I am still here when he comes home and washes all my doubts away. I hope I never reach that point.
Organized Chaos 