Have you ever sat down and wrote out a bucket list? Today I did and it doesn’t involve me getting arrested or swimming with sharks. My list is not only simple but realistic. Many of my goals seem pretty easy but considering how much Annie enjoys interfering with my daily life, a lot of of these are actually pretty frightening for me.
Why there is fear
I am a late bloomer when it comes to driving. Don’t get me wrong, I know how to drive, I’ve been licensed since I was 21. I didn’t start driving until I turned about 25. Everything was great until one day my father and I had gotten into a car accident. Long story short, we were crossing the street and the driver hit my dad, who was walking only a foot or two behind me. Since then, I haven’t trusted my judgement on anything – and I do mean ANYTHING. I constantly need assurance from others because on that one night, I thought the car was far enough and I was wrong. I could have lost my dad that night.
Needless to say, that altering moment shocked my confidence right back inside. Since then, I’ve constantly second guessed myself and not many people understand this. It’s always the same reply: “you just have to get over it,” “just do it,” “stop being lazy,” or they just make “jokes.” When it comes to anyone understanding, only one person comes to mind and, unfortunately, she lives states away (Florida, to be exact).
I think I can
Like a hamster on a wheel, my mind is always spinning out of control but never arriving to any destination. I know no one can help my internal issues except me, so, I created this bucket list that I hope I can accomplish before next spring.
- Drive to my in laws
- Go on solo vacation for a week
- Watch a movie in the theaters alone
- Watch a local live rock band
- Attend a rock concert
*bonus* drive to it alone
- Go dancing
- See a Broadway play of my choice
- Play soccer with dad at a park
- Meet up with other writers
- Start writing a book
- Go somewhere out of my comfort zone
- Face a big fear